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Issue 980 - July 2023
SNIPPETZ KNOWS ALL THINGS MUST COME TO AN END: FAMOUS LASTS by Lindsey Harrison 
"To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 What goes up must come down. There is always an end to every beginning. Wow. Heavy stuff, but true. The end might not be in sight; in fact it might not really even be fathomable. But rest assured, everything will come to an end sometime. And with an end comes a last. The last breath of a dying man, the last episode of your favorite television show, “The Last of the Mohicans.” And this just wouldn’t be a proper Snippetz topic if we didn’t do a little hunting and find some obscure lasts. So, enjoy reading this because eventually it’ll come to the last word of this piece and we’ll have created yet another last. Last Prisoner To Leave Alcatraz Arguably the most famous prison in the United States, Alcatraz Island and the jail located on it initially operated to house Civil War prisoners as early as 1861. It started its life as a federal penitentiary in 1934 and remained so for just under 30 years. Over the years, prisoners came and went. On Dec. 14, 1962 Frank Clay Weatherman began his short-lived stint as a prisoner in Alcatraz after being convicted of armed robbery. He was the last in a line of prisoners to leave the island when the prison closed on March 21, 1963. There isn’t much known about Weatherman after he left; in fact, in 2003, his daughter Megan posted on http://www.flickr.com that she was looking for anyone who had more information about her very secretive father. The one piece of information Megan Weatherman was able to add was that her father died on Jan. 28, 1999. Last Person To Pass Through Ellis Island Ellis Island opened on Jan. 1, 1892 and became the nation’s penultimate federal immigration station. At its highest point on April 17, 1907, the station processed 11,747 immigrants, adding to the total of 1,004,756 immigrants processed that year. It operated until 1954, admitting 12 million immigrants into the U.S., the last of whom was a Norwegian merchant seaman named Arne Peterssen. Over one third of the American population can trace their ancestry to immigrants that arrived via Ellis Island. Last Stagecoach Robbery In The U.S. With the advent of automobiles, stagecoaches eventually became obsolete. However, before the last stagecoach made its trip (whenever that was…anyone out there know?), one last robbery occurred. On Dec. 5, 1916, mail stage wagon driver Fred M. Searcy was killed when Ben E. Kuhl and two other suspects who remain unnamed, ambushed him as he was riding to Jarbridge, Nev. Kuhl made off with $4,000 and was eventually caught, although the money was never recovered. In his trial in Sept. 1917, the prosecution entered into evidence a palm print that matched Kuhl’s. This marked the first time that a palm print was used as evidence in a U.S. courtroom. That evidence helped convict Kuhl of murder, adding another first to the list: the first time in U.S. history that a person was convicted and sent to prison using palm print evidence. Latest Snowfall in Colorado Sometimes lasts aren’t the last forever, just the last for a specific period of time. Take weather for instance. Meteorologists refer to firsts all the time, when considering the first weather event of a season. However, they can’t really go about saying “The last snow of the season will be on this day.” Instead, they look back and are able to state with certainty when the latest particular weather event for that season occurred. Results such as this are compiled, allowing for comparison throughout a wide range of years. So you might be wondering, when exactly WAS the latest snowfall in Colorado history? The answer: June 10, 1975. It snowed 1.1 inches. Now you know. Last President With Facial Hair Yes, you read that right. Initially, the men elected to the office of president did not wear facial hair, preferring the clean-shaven look instead. In 1860, that all changed. Between that year and 1913, all but two presidents sported either beards or mustaches during their stay in the White House. William Howard Taft was the most recent president to wear facial hair. His preference? A mustache. Interestingly enough, the last major party candidates who wore either a beard or a mustache were both defeated; Charles Evans Hughes in 1916 and Thomas E. Dewey in 1948. Maybe both President Barak Obama and his opposition Senator Mitt Romney did a little research as neither showed off any facial hair during the campaign for the November 2012 election. Last Gladiator Fight There are two competing stories about the details of the last gladiator fight. The first account comes from church historian Theodoret who said that a monk named Telemachus (now known as Saint Telemachus; you’ll find out why in a minute) tried to stop a gladiator fight in a Roman amphitheater and the crowd stoned him to death. This same story claims that Christian Emperor Honorius was in such awe of Telemachus’ journey into martyrdom that he placed a ban on all gladiator fights. While there’s no solid evidence to support it, this fight is thought to have been the fight that occurred on Jan. 1, 404 AD since it was the last one on record. The other story claims that Telemachus stood up during a gladiator fight and told the crowd to stop worshiping idols and offering sacrifices to the gods. In response, the prefect of the city ordered the gladiators to kill Telemachus, so they did. Either way, the result is the same: Jan. 1 404 AD was the last gladiator fight and Telemachus achieved sainthood. Last Play At The Globe Theater Built in 1599, the Globe Theater in London is most closely associated with William Shakespeare. During a performance of Henry VIII, the theatre caught fire on June 29, 1613. The fire was caused by a prop cannon that misfired during the performance and ignited the wooden beams and thatching that made up the structure and roofing of the theater. It’s thought that no one was injured during the fire, although there is very little documentation that remains to confirm that claim. The Globe Theater was rebuilt in 1614 on the same site as the original structure and hosted plays until 1642. In 1997, a modern version of the Globe opened about 750 feet from the site of the original theater and is called “Shakespeare’s Globe.” Last Queen of Hawaii Born Lydia Lili’u loloku Walania WewehiKamaka’eha, which roughly translates to smarting, tearful, burning pain, sore eyes; Queen Lili’uokalani was the last monarch of Hawaii. She was given the title of Crown Princess in 1877 by her brother Kalākaua who was elected king after the previous king died and left no successor to the throne. Lili’uokalani inherited the throne on Jan. 29, 1891. Just two years later, a group of Americans and Europeans formed a Committee of Safety which sought to overthrow the Hawaiian Kingdom, depose the Queen and push for annexation to the U.S. Queen Lili’uokalani was officially deposed on Jan. 17, 1893, and gave up her throne (temporarily) to “the superior military forces of the United States.” Her hope, it’s said, was that the U.S. would restore the Kingdom of Hawaii to the rightful sovereign, namely her. That was not to be. A provisional government was formed until the U.S. finalized Hawaii’s annexation. On Feb. 1, 1893, Hawaii was proclaimed a protectorate of the U.S. Not without opposition, Hawaii became an incorporated territory of the U.S. in 1898. Lili’uokalani died in 1917 long before the Aug. 21, 1959 date when Hawaii was officially declared a state of the United States of America. Besides being the last Queen of Hawaii, Lili’uokalani was also the author of the popular song “Aloha Oe.” Issue 981 - August 2023
SNIPPETZ LOOKS AT CRIMINALS WITH ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT by Deborah Stumpf 
About 6 percent of all criminals in the United States commit 70 percent of all violent crimes, which means 94 percent are involved in non-violent crimes, including bonehead schemes. Some criminals get away with their crime; some get arrested; and some become fodder for late-night comedians – or community newspapers.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law – or in a comedy club. Half-wit, dimly lit criminals are everywhere. Clowning Around • Frank Salvador Solorza, age 46, of Redwood City, Calif., came up with this moronic idea to extort money from his cousins. Solorza, posing as a federal immigration agent, sent letters to six cousins, accusing them of lying on their applications for permanent residency in the U.S. The letters also included this: “For $50,000, your papers will be good forever.” He instructed one cousin to meet him with the money gathered from all cousins. Solorza said the money should be handed to a man in a clown suit riding a bicycle. Solorza appeared as such: on a child’s bicycle dressed in a clown suit, a glittery wig and a pirate’s hat. When police arrested him, Solorza had the cell phone he used to call his cousin and a receipt from a costume store. • In August, two robbers dressed in clown garb went into a jewelry store – Sonny’s Rocks – in Denver with their guns drawn. After they made customers and employees lie face down on the ground, the robbers broke into the jewelry cases and stole the goods. However, the robbers had no idea that all of the jewelry on display was fake. A couple from Aurora, Colo., was arrested in Utah but police had not officially linked them to the Denver crime. The police found diamond rings in their car – real ones, worth about $400,000. Dumb and Dumber In May, 35-year-old Daniel Rahynes entered a bank in Harrisburg, Penn., under the premise of opening an account. Instead, Rahynes robbed the bank. He made off with a small amount of cash, but during his request to open an account, he had given the bank representative two forms of identification. With certainty, police arrested Rahynes later that day – after he crashed into another vehicle while driving under the influence. Phillip Williams didn’t trust his crack cocaine dealer. To confirm he had bought the real “stuff,” Williams waved down two Tampa, Fla., police officers and asked them to test the crack cocaine that he had just purchased. He told them he wanted to make sure it was real. It was – and Williams ended up in the slammer. When James Wombles of Riverside, Ohio, had served his time for receiving stolen property, he had to wear an ankle bracelet equipped with a GPS monitoring system as part of the terms of his parole. The GPS came in handy. Wombles broke into several homes, and the police were obviously able to track him – and then arrest him. In Scotland, shoplifter Aron Morrison stole a bottle of vodka from a liquor store. It didn’t take police long to find him since he left his name and phone number with the clerk, whom he had asked out on a date. Dumbest In Wichita, Kan., Zachera McGrew, age 23, discovered that his car speakers had been stolen. Certain he knew the culprit; McGrew drove to a nearby neighborhood with two friends to confront the alleged thief, a teenage boy. When he arrived, McGrew jumped out of his car and demanded that the boy get in the car and take him to his speakers. The teenager refused, so McGrew drew his handgun (a stolen weapon that he had received in trade for his pit bull). The teenager ran, and McGrew fired a couple of shots at him. When the kid was nowhere in sight, McGrew slid his gun back into his waistband and accidentally squeezed the trigger, hitting his left testicle. Perhaps he was a bit disoriented from the pain, but McGrew pulled the trigger again, sending a bullet to his left calf. His friends drove him to the hospital. The police were called, and McGrew told the officers he had been shot by a stranger. He eventually confessed the truth to his embarrassment, which didn’t stop there. McGrew was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, but the press had a field day with the headlines. MSNBC, for example, published this headline on their Web site: Nobody move or the one on the right gets it, too. Worst Escapes • Bonnie and Clyde they are not. Roy and Jessica Fritts of Utah met through a prison pen-pal site and were married in prison. Roy, age 33, was serving 10 years for the attempted murder of a police officer, and his 35-year-old bride was in for bank robbery. After each was paroled, they reunited on the outside and decided to go to Nevada. Roy failed to report to his parole officer and also didn’t mention the car he was planning to steal. When a charitable man picked them up as they were hitchhiking, the Fritts shot the driver, dumped him on the road and took off in his van. The man survived and gave the police a description of the infamous couple and the van. Police caught up with them, but the Fritts tried to outrun the police car. A van and a squad car in chase is like a race between a tortoise and a hare. The cops were able to get ahead and place stop sticks across the road, which blew out the Fritts’ tires. The Fritts didn’t stop there. They took off on foot and discovered an older man nearby standing in his driveway. The ingenious couple stole his car but didn’t get too far. Neither Roy nor Jessica knew how to drive a stick shift. They ended up stalling the engine a few times before police surrounded them. • Police in Southside, Ala., were called to a home when neighbors complained of loud noise. When the cops arrived, they found a bunch of teenagers engaged in underage drinking and other shenanigans. Andrew Hank Stabler, age 18, decided to run. The police, however, caught him and put him in handcuffs. When Stabler begged the police to loosen the “tight” cuffs, one cop obliged. Stabler took off running again; and, still in handcuffs, he jumped into a river. It’s difficult to swim in river currents but especially tough with your hands cuffed. As Stabler went under, a police officer rescued him. He was booked for disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, escaping and swimming under the influence of alcohol – and handcuffs. No … really Punctual in Vernon, British Columbia: Raymond Cuthbert dropped by a drugstore and told the clerk that he and his accomplice would be back in 30 minutes to rob the store. They were on time – and under arrest, as the Royal Canadian Mounted Police greeted them. It’s best to call ahead. Albert Bailey of Connecticut phoned a bank and instructed an employee to have the money ready for him; he would be in soon to rob the bank. The police, of course, were waiting for him and his 16-year-old accomplice. One police officer referred to Bailey as “not too bright.” Get it right, please: In Los Angeles, police were questioning potential suspects in a lineup. When a detective asked each man to repeat the words: “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” one man yelled, “That’s not what I said.” A toll on the brain: Thieves in Florida took a wrong turn and ended up on the Homestead, Fla., Air Force Base. They actually thought the military police guardhouse at the front gate was a toll booth; and they were trying to pay the fee. Will the Real Lamebrains Stand Up? In Oakland, Calif., police officers spent two hours attempting to lure a gunman out of his home, after he had barricaded himself inside. The officers fired 10 tear gas canisters but soon discovered that the gunman was standing beside them in the police line shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.” You have the right to remain silent – and please remain home when it’s time to vote. |
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