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Dr. Ross is an author, speaker, and co-founder of PowerfulSeniors.com.
He lives in Indiana. Email: Dr.Ross at: Dr.Ross@RonRossToday.com ISSUE 851
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 1: HUMOR FIGHTS DISEASE Where did the idea come from that laughter is the best medicine? King Solomon, considered one of the wisest men who ever lived, may be the source. He didn’t say that laughter was the “best” medicine, but he did say, “A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.” Proverbs 17: 22 Doctors doubt that laughter heals like a properly dispensed anti-biotic, but they agree it does improve your health. Psychologists have also long believed that the practice of positive thinking and an abundance of laughter brings pleasure and facilitates good health. Here are some of the benefits of “a cheerful disposition:” Laughter sets off a chain reaction of positive physical changes throughout your body. Not only does your laughter make you feel better emotionally, but it helps you heal physically. Here’s what the MDs say happens: When you’re stressed, your body produces cortisol, a primary stress hormone, that can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, and excess belly fat. Somehow, laughter lowers cortisol to safe levels. Laughter also fortifies your immune system. How? When you laugh, your body increases the production of antibodies in your saliva and bloodstream, and they fight off bacteria, viruses, and parasites. Pretty cool, huh? Want better skin? Laugh more and complain less. “People suffering from eczema noted improvement in their complexions after consistently watching funny movies.” Personally, I’d rather watch Young Frankenstein for the 100th time than rubbing yukky cream on itchy skin, wouldn’t you? Guffawing is almost as good as an hour at the gym. When you laugh big, your heart and lungs work harder which increases your oxygen consumption and heart rate – almost like a ride on your bike or a walk around the block, only not so hard on your knees. Laughter has another benefit you have experienced many times – after a good time of hilarity and belly laughter, you feel relaxed, relieved, and recovered, remember? Of course, you do! Laughter is also a natural antidepressant better than any drug from Abilify to Zoloft. Watch a few episodes of Seinfeld or I Love Lucy, and your depression and anxiety will be alleviated at least for a while! You live in a stressful world. Busy schedules, difficult relationships, disappointing jobs, painful health issues, financial problems and more litter our lives. More laughter is needed to combat the “gloom and doom that leave bone tired.” Everyone could smile more, laugh more, and better yet, guffaw more – that includes you and me. We can all feel better with laughter starting right now just by starting with a smile, letting it grow into a grin, and when the time is just right, explode into laughter! God gave us humor to make us happier and healthier. He made it universally available, easy to administer, and financially affordable. Almost 100 years before doctors discovered cortisol, Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887) wrote, “Mirth is God’s medicine.” ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 852
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 2: HUMOR IS BETTER THAN EXERCISE! You may have read the meme, “Rabbits jump, and they live eight years. Dogs run, and they live 15 years, turtles do nothing, and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.” Or how about this one: “A balanced diet is having a cupcake in each hand.” OK, one more: “I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place.” Laughing yet? I hope so because laughter is better than exercise. Your local gym owner will likely tell you that exercise is a great way to cure nearly every disease in life. “Exercise more, and your brain works better, Alzheimer’s disease is abated, and Parkinson’s slowly disappears,” they preach. The same (well, almost the same) claims are made for laughter. A few years ago, the New York Times reported about a study done at Oxford University with a large number of graduate and undergraduate men and women. Do you know what they made them do? – they made them laugh. They found that laughter is part emotion (I’m pretty sure they already knew that), but they also found that laughter is real physical activity – exercise if you please. When you laugh, you forcefully and repeatedly exhale your breath from your lungs which requires effort by the muscles of your diaphragm – that’s exercise, right? No doubt you have placed your hand on your stomach and declared, “I laughed until it hurt.” The pain you felt was real, and if you laugh for an extended period, you really will be both tired and sore – the same kind of pain and exhaustion you get from doing a few dozen or a few hundred sit-ups. There is another way laughter and exercise are similar. Because laughter is an infectious activity, people laugh more when there are others around. I experienced this personally when I participated in a humorous speech contest. When practicing my speech with one or two people, they seldom laughed out loud. When I performed it before 300 people packed into a room, the laughter was exponentially more robust. It’s the same when working out. You will work out harder when the gym is full, and every machine is buzzing, than you will if you’re the only one there. There’s a funny thing circulating on the Internet that shows a Chinese looking gentleman dressed in a white lab coat – the kind you see doctors wear. Someone allegedly asks him, “Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?” His answer: “Heart only good for so many beats, and that it. Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.” It’s apparently a spoof because exercise is good for the body and the soul, but so is laughter, and for that matter, so is a nap. ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 853
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 3: HUMOR REDUCES STRESS God made us able to laugh because there’s nothing like a hardy, har, har, har to reduce our stress! God knows we have enough stress in our world. Here are a few stunning statistics about stress I found on WebMD.com:
What’s the best relief for stress? A vacation. Sure – who doesn’t like a holiday on the beach. How about a quiet day at home without any children? Yup, that would work. What if you could get a nice raise and a reduction in the number of hours you have to work? Ahhh – that sounds like a great stress-reducer. Each of those is possible, but they are not readily available. Humor is. And humor, especially laughter, reduces the negative impacts of stress. Dr. Lee Berk, an associate professor at Loma Linda University in California, says your mind, hormone system, and immune system continuously communicate in ways that affect your mood as well as your ability to fight off a variety of sicknesses and diseases. According to the doctor, stress induces hormones which inhibit your immune system from doing its job. Researchers continue to link significant ailments to stress. Do you feel your shoulders tightening? Do you sense a headache coming on? Is some looming danger causing fear in your heart? Here is one thing you can do right now to stop the negative impact of stress on your mind, heart, and body: LAUGH. Laughter, according to Dr. Berk, “appears to cause all the reciprocal, or opposite, effects of stress.” He says laughter helps your body produce the feel-good neurochemicals like dopamine while at the same time, it shuts down the release of those nasty stress hormones like cortisol. Laughter also impacts your brain positively. Your brain is made up of a complex network of neurons, the building blocks of your nervous system. They transmit information to and from the brain via your very complex nervous system. Laughter changes for better the way your brain’s billions of neurons communicate with one another. To get the most of out of laughter as a medicine, a couple of hints: First of all, you will get better results if you laugh with other people. Fact is, a crowded room of laughing people increases the amount of laughter in the room. Laughter begets laughter. Second hint: laugh out loud. Humor is good and improves your mood, but laughter, especially guffawing, belly laughter, a great big hardy-har-har, does the most to help reduce stress. That’s why you always feel so good, so relaxed, so happy after you’ve had a good laugh. ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 854
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 4: HUMOR HELPS YOU LEARN! Your brain has a direct connection to your funny bone; no joke! Over 40 years of educational humor research indicates that “non-aggressive, relevant, appropriate humor appears to be a helpful learning tool. It seems to be particularly useful to sandwich humor between instruction and repetition.” Think back to your favorite teacher. That teacher very likely made learning both challenging and fun whereas the most uninteresting teacher made learning a pain in the brain. Some types of humor work better than others to help students learn. The research shows that classroom or seminar humor must be appropriate to the audience and relevant to the subject. To tell a joke unrelated to the subject is a distraction, while humor related to the topic increases retention. Sarcasm has been shown to do little to help to learn. Psychologists say that sarcasm is hostility disguised as humor. Sarcasm is usually funny at the moment, but the recipient of a sarcastic comment feels put down and considers the sarcastic person an offensive dolt. A skillful way to use humor to enhance learning is to make your students laugh while in the middle of some complicated material. If you teach math, you might want to pause and tell your students this old, but always funny anecdote: A team of engineers was required to measure the height of a flagpole. They only had a measuring tape and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and immediately removes the pole from its base, lays it down and measure it. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!" If you’re in a class on computer programing, your mind will relax, and you’ll learn more if, in the middle of a particularly complex lesson, your teacher tells you, “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.” The following line would work in a psychology or sociology class: “Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?” But it would be out of place and a distraction in an algebra class, even though it is still funny. I think Sesame Street’s Count Dracula taught more children how to count than any classroom teacher; he made you smile just to look at him. There is a limit, I suppose. Too much humor is like too much sugar – sugar decreases memory formation and can lead to learning disorders. Here’s proof: A nurse at a hospital received a call from an anxious patient. “I’m diabetic, and I’m afraid I’ve had too much sugar today.” The nurse asked, “Are you light-headed?” The patient answered, “No, I’m a brunette.” Did my jokes work? Did you learn anything by reading this? ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 855
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 5: HUMOR DULLS PAIN The writers on WebMD.com say this, “the most convincing health benefit . . . seen from laughter is its ability to dull pain. Numerous studies of people in pain or discomfort have found that when they laugh, they report that their pain doesn't bother them as much.” Research has shown that distraction increases our ability to tolerate pain. There are two kinds of distraction that seem to work: humor and tragedy. Four groups of 20 people were tested. Three groups were shown a film: group 1 – a humorous film, group 2 – a repulsive film, and group 3 – a neutral film. A fourth group was not shown any film. The results showed that the humorous film and the repulsive film both worked to distract the viewer from their pain. The neutral film and the group shown no film at all were not distracted. So choose your medicine – a repulsive film or a funny one. Not hard for me to decide. I prefer to laugh my way to less pain than puke it away by watching a repulsive film. Humor also dulls emotional pain – or at least it is a coping mechanism. Depression is emotional pain that finds some relief in laughter – especially guffawing. A few minutes of joyful belly laughter takes the inward focus of depression and moves it outward into a world of amusement and delight. The late-great comedian, Robin Williams made at least two generations laugh and cry. From the revelry of Mork & Mindy to the darkness of Boulevard, this little comic and acting genius distracted us from our pain, but he neglected his demons. It makes me wonder what made Robin Williams laugh? What treatment would have helped him battle depression or whatever it was that caused him to turn on himself and end his life? Humor can dull the pain of the one laughing, but sometimes it costs a lot for the humorist, for the comedian, for the one who makes the other laugh. How does it work? The research shows that when you laugh, your brain releases endorphins in your brain. Endorphins are chemicals that activate the same receptors as drugs like heroin but without hooking you on them for the rest of your life! When you laugh, God created natural painkillers in your brain go to work! Pretty cool, huh? Two more discoveries:
Perhaps the essential reason God gave us laughter is that he knew we would live in a world of such great pain. He tells us in His Word, “There is a time to weep and a time to laugh.” Ecclesiastes 3:4. I’ve done both – and so have you. For some reason, it’s easier for me to wallow in my pain than to laugh my way out of it. I’m choosing to laugh more and wallow less. Join me? ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 856
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 6: HUMOR INCREASES YOUR CREATIVITY Got a problem? Laugh awhile at the dilemma, and the solution may quickly arrive. Why laugh? Because God wired your brain in such a way that humor and logic use different pathways to solve problems. Spend too much time in one pathway, and you’ll seldom utilize the other. Use them both and all kinds of possibilities may arise! The logic pathway, linear thinking, anticipates previously known and clearly defined steps where each move is anticipated before it is taken. It’s very useful and necessary in life, no question. However, sometimes logical thinking gets in the way of creativity. When you get locked into the “we always do it this way” mindset, lots of great ideas remain veiled. That’s because linear thinking avoids new pathways; it deals primarily with what you know. If you have ever written a business plan and then started a business, you know there is a big difference between the linear thinking of your project and the unpredicted problems you must solve day-by-day. Everything doesn’t work out as planned; I’m sure you’ve noticed that about life. That’s why you gotta laugh! When you laugh, when you have fun, when you “play” at work, you change pathways. You move from dealing with what you know (logic) and move into what might be possible if… How does that work? Humor shocks the brain. It blows-away conventional expectations. It diverts the mind from the way it usually operates to a way it does not anticipate; which is what makes something funny. Problem solving and creativity come better when you are relaxed, when the tension leaves your shoulders, your furrowed brow smooths out, and your acidic stomach settles down. You can improve your creativity even more when you smile, play, and laugh. Your humor gives you a fresh set of eyes to help you find solutions to problems which once seemed unsolvable. There’s some science to this. The researchers say a joke yanks your mind from logic to absurdity. Before the punchline makes you laugh, it takes your brain for a dance of sorts; it makes it twist and turn. Watch how your brain processes this short joke: “A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation…” To get the joke, your mind must visit a bus station and then a train station all in a nanosecond. Then, ba-da-boom, suddenly It is dazed when forced to disobey the expected, linear logic and reconcile the unpredicted end. Your brain, in a nanosecond, resolves it all, and you laugh! The brainiacs who study the impact of humor on the human mind say they are coming closer to proving that a great sense of humor improves the brain and its ability to think creatively, solve problems, and make life much more pleasurable. Sounds to me like the reason humor makes us creative is that comedy is an art, not a science. In science 1 + 1 = 2. In comedy, 1: My dog has no nose. + 2: How does he smell? = 1: Awful. See the difference? Funny, isn’t it? ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 857
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 7: HUMOR HELPS YOU GRIEVE When my wife of 55-years and 4-months died, nothing was funny about it. Nothing. The worst part was when the mortician arrived at our home, and because they couldn’t get their gurney up the stairs, hauled her body down the steps in a plastic bag. I didn’t’ laugh, I cried. Humor, however, was a big part of our marriage. My wife could be hilarious, and she knew precisely how to take the stuffing out of my over-inflated shirt with a couple of humorous comments. I too, like to make people laugh, so many times we would crack up together over something that was funny or could have been funny should something else have happened. Even when she was dying, she played a significant part in a funny verbal exchange. Aunt Jan (Amy’s sister-in-law and a retired hospice nurse) came from Iowa at just the right time to help us through her final days. One afternoon, Aunt Jan asked me to help her manage Amy’s position in bed. Within Amy’s hearing, Jan said, “Ron, you need to get Amy a couple of additional nightgowns so we can always have a clean one should she spill some water on herself.” I agreed immediately. “Jan, here’s our Kohl’s credit card. Go down to the store and buy her whatever she needs. It’s only a few blocks down the road.” Amy, who we both thought was sound asleep and maybe in a coma, said in a cracked voice, “No! Macy’s – Macy’s.” With a bewildered voice I repeated to Jan, “Kohl’s is only a few blocks down the road. Go there and get her a couple of nightgowns – whatever you think she needs.” Amy, who was barely able to speak, suddenly gained strength and sat up straight in bed and declared with a loud voice, “No! Macy’s. Macy’s.” And she laid back down and closed her eyes. Jan went to Macy’s. I often tell the story, and though it at first seems morbid, it always brings laughter. For me, it reminds me of the fantastic lady I was blessed to be married to for over five decades – and it helps me find a slice of sunshine in an otherwise cold and cloudy world. As a pastor, I presided over many funerals. Very often the post-funeral family meal was a time of storytelling – and many of the stories were humorous – some caused chuckles and others created guffaws. But all of them were healing moments for the mourners. You expect tears at a funeral, right? But some are surprised and experience genuine relief when they are allowed to laugh. There’s an emotional conflict, I’m sure. “Why am I laughing?” we think. “I should be crying!” Here is what’s going on: Humor is a defense mechanism we use to help us cope with a crisis. Who, in the midst of a grave mistake or some crisis, hasn’t said, “It was so bad, all we could do was laugh.” There is something wonderfully healing about laughter. That’s why God gave us a funny bone, and that’s why the Bible says in Proverbs 17:22: “A merry heart does good like medicine: but a broken spirit dries the bones.” Amen to that. ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 858
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 8: HUMOR HEALS THE PAST Screw-ups are common. Fortunately, most of our past foibles are quickly forgotten – like the time you lost your keys or the morning you forgot to brush your teeth. But it’s those big bad bodacious boo-boos that can hold you back from being the person you were born to be. One gift God gave us to help us heal our past hurts is the ability to find the humor in them. How does laughing at your stupid stunts of yesteryear bring healing? In three ways: Your laughter highlights your humanity. I read a story recently about a woman who wanted to be the perfect wife. She tried so hard that she ended up failing in about every category. She had such a high bar for herself that her good intentions led to great disappointments for her and her husband. There is no such thing as the perfect wife – or the perfect husband. Fact is, nobody’s perfect. Well, almost nobody. Jesus was perfect, but they nailed him to a cross. So, you might want to think twice about seeking perfection, but think several times about being yourself, loving yourself, and forgiving yourself for your imperfections. “To err is human,” said English poet Alexander Pope (1711), and you are human. Your laughter marks your maturity. Think about the insult shouted at you in the 7th grade. You suffered from the unkind words for hours, weeks, and maybe years. I know a young man who was regularly called “fatso” in middle school. He left behind those nasty insults and focused on his future. Today he is a highly respected medical doctor who also happens to be skinny. The bullies in middle-school laughed at him, but he laughed off their insults and became the person he was meant to be. Author Brené Brown, Ph.D., says in her excellent book, The Gifts of Imperfection, “Practicing self-love means learning how to trust ourselves, to treat ourselves with respect, and to be kind and affectionate toward ourselves.”[1] I would add, and to laugh at ourselves. Your laughter frees your future. Being a slave to the misery of your mistakes is easy. I have a friend who, as a high-school basketball player, missed a shot that would have won the state tournament. He spent years agonizing over that mistake even though he became a successful college and semi-pro player. Today, he is a successful motivational speaker, and he laughs at his “missed shot story.” The story no longer hurts, it heals. Happiness is widely recognized as a great elixir. Add to your delight some belly laughter, a persistently joyful spirit, and you will have an almost miracle medicine. Laughter strengthens your immune system and helps you resist the diseases and demons of your daily foibles. The poet Victor Hugo summarized this idea in one short sentence: “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” Laugh at your past mistakes and the clouds that darken your day will part, and the sun will shine on you. [1] Brown, Berné, The Gifts of Imperfection, Hazelden, pg. 27 ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 859
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 9: HUMOR KEEPS YOU HUMBLE Self-deprecating humor may be the safest and best kind of humor there is. You use it when you accept the obvious fact you are not perfect, you have weaknesses, and are quite capable of screwing up your own life. Like this, for instance: “Someone asked if I had a good plastic surgeon. I answered: would I look like this if I did?” “People are surprised when I tell them I have a genius IQ and have been invited to lecture at Mensa meetings, but then, anything is possible when you lie.” The truth is, in some ways, we are wise – in other ways we’re foolish. Sometimes we are strong – at other times we’re weak. To one person we are brilliant – to another we are dim-witted. So, admit your vulnerabilities, laugh at yourself, and the humor will cause you and the people around you, to see you as amusing, approachable, and authentic. When you think of yourself more highly than you ought, you set yourself up for embarrassment. I once heard Dr. Robert Schuller say, “The easiest thing for God to do is humble you.” At that moment, I realized it is easier to be authentically humble and have a fair and realistic opinion of myself than to be self-flattering and then, at a most inopportune time, to have my ugly underbelly revealed. Trust me; it will happen! Many years ago, my wife and I were invited to the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington DC. We flew to the event and checked into a nice hotel. The morning of the breakfast, I shined my shoes, ironed my shirt and wore my best suit. I even bought my wife a lovely corsage to wear. As we walked into the event, we mingled with a variety of VIPs – senators, members of Congress, judges, and other celebrities. Once the ceremonies began, we stood and applauded each time the notable dignitaries were introduced including General Colin Powell, Vice-President & Mrs. Quayle, and President and First Lady, George & Barbara Bush. I was quite impressed with myself because I was hanging out with such influential people. As the event drew to a close, I leaned back in my chair to look around the room and congratulate myself for being such an esteemed person. That’s when I noticed that throughout the entire event, my fly was open. What happened is what the Bible teaches: “Pride goes before a fall.” The very moment you think you are smarter or better or more important than others is the very moment someone or something will remind you that you are not. Theologian Thomas Merton said it this way, “Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.” Here’s the lesson: make yourself the butt of your jokes, laugh at your folly, and reveal your real humanity. Here are two great examples: “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin, comedian Isaac Asimov wrote or edited over 500 books; he was a pretty smart guy. Smart enough to use some self-deprecating, tongue-in-cheek humor to make fun of himself when he said, “People who think they know everything are an annoyance to those of us who do.” ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 860
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 10: HUMOR EXTENDS YOUR LIFE “I’m 86, and that good-looking lady standing next to me is 84,” a gentleman bragged to me. “We’ve been married 63 years, and we plan to live long enough to celebrate our 70th wedding anniversary.” The couple grinned like two newlyweds that had just been pronounced husband and wife. While they both moved slowly and the “good-looking lady” standing next to him was wrinkled and bent over, they both were bright, articulate and smiled and laughed with ease. Do you think their positive attitude and their sense of humor helped them stay active, mobile, and alive? Researchers think so. They found that among older people, optimists have a 77% lower risk of heart disease than pessimists. Why? They think it’s because optimists believe they can solve the problems they face, or “negotiate life’s stressors without becoming irritated.”[1] The researchers found that an optimistic attitude about growing old will keep you alive on an average of 7.5 years longer than a pessimistic mindset. Smile, laugh and look hopefully at each day and you will enjoy a lower heart rate, deal with stress better, and have a physical and emotional vitality that nourishes both body and soul. Here’s another benefit of cheerfulness: happy people are less likely to get sick, but if they do they tend to recover quicker. Optimism and a sense of humor make all of life better. When you’re optimistic you are excited about life, you have a sense of meaning and purpose, and you do more than endure life, you celebrate it every day. From personal experience, I can tell you it’s not easy to stay positive and to maintain a happy spirit. As I grow older, my feet hurt, my eyes weaken, and my reflexes decelerate. Not only that, I worry about my grandchildren, miss my wife, and fret about the future. Sometimes I have to work hard just to smile or think good thoughts. I can be grumpy with ease. But I hate it when I’m grumpy. My spirit sours, my brow furrows, and my lousy attitude affects the people around me. When I whine and complain, I get fewer perks, have fewer friends, and willingly increase my own misery. How stupid is that? Who wants that? Not me. Not you. Understand this: there are no emotional, physical or relational benefits to being gloomy, but a bundle of benefits for being blissful. Simply put, happy people, people who continue to laugh, love, and learn no matter how difficult daily life is, will live longer than those who hibernate, bellyache, and stagnate. I hope that happy couple makes it to their 70th wedding anniversary; they deserve it. So do you. Start today to laugh a little more at the stressors of life and in the process, add a few years to your life. Remember Bobby McFerrin’s song from the late 1980s? Here’s a little song I wrote – You might want to sing it note for note. Don’t worry, be happy. In every life we have some trouble – But when you worry you make it double. Don’t worry, be happy. ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 861
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 11: HUMOR ENHANCES HARMONY Want more harmony in your workplace or your family to get along better? Would you like to have a happier marriage? This will help: Lighten up and laugh because humor brings people together, it makes them like each other. It’s one more reason God gave us humor! Here’s how it works: humor releases endorphins within the brain that make you feel good about yourself and the people you are with – ergo – you tolerate differences, get along better, and disagree less. Humor heightens love relationships. It’s been long established that women like men who make them laugh and men like women who laugh at their jokes.[1] Here’s a quote from an online blog written by a woman: “Gentlemen, can I let you in on a little secret? A guy who makes me laugh — I’m talking out loud, contagious, straight-from-the-gut, don’t-care-who’s-around laugh — instantly wins, over the hot, boring guy. Every. Single. Time. A man who isn’t afraid to look stupid in front of you is one of the most attractive things in the world.” [2] Humor charms and disarms people. Speakers, preachers, and politicians include humor in their speeches to win over the audience and get their message. Coaches, managers, and leaders use it to create cooperation and team unity. Married couples who laugh together have stronger bonds between them. Life can get boring for even the most compatible couples. The relationship is taken for granted, and disappointments come. But a little laughter spices the relationship and relieves the stress of daily life. Jay Leno said, “You can’t stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.” People who smile and laugh are more attractive. When your mad everything tightens up – your shoulders draw together, your brow furrows, your fists clench, your mouth curls down, your eyes squint, your voice gets shrill, and your stomach turns sour. Laughter has all the opposite effects. When you laugh, your whole body opens up. You relax, you feel good all over, and your eyes sparkle. Your laughter makes you more interesting, more attractive, and more open to connecting with others. You’ve heard of the term, ‘infectious laughter,’ right? There is something to that. When you laugh, your upbeat manner becomes a positive virus easily caught and quickly spread by those around you. Happy people project wellbeing, an authentic vigor for life, and an inner-joy that is missing in so many people. If you want to increase the intimacy of your relationships, tickle your funny bone. Relax your face and smile. Learn to laugh easily. The pain and sting of life are universal, but it must not be allowed to quiet our laughter, steal our joy, and separate us from each other. It’s time to laugh again. It’s time to love again. It’s time to collaborate more and separate less. How about you and I stop fussing at everyone who doesn’t agree with us? Instead, let us find the humor in every situation. Let’s drop the drama, throw our head back and laugh at life from the depth of our soul. When we do, we’ll like ourselves better, and others will delight in our presence. As humorist Victor Borge declared many years ago, “Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 862
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 12: HUMOR ACKNOWLEDGES MORTALITY When you’re seventy-four-years-old and you look in the mirror you have a choice: grin or groan, laugh or cry. I must admit, I do both - but most of the time I smile. Why? Because the mirror confronts me with the obvious facts I'm growing old, I look like my father, and my time on earth is limited. Sorry about sounding morbid, but I've buried all four of my grandparents, my father, my mother, my friend, and most recently, my wife. My grandpa had a heart attack, my dad had cancer, my friend was murdered, and my wife died of brain cancer. Not much to laugh at there, right? Not when it happened - but now there is an occasion to smile. I remember the day I broke Grandpa's favorite fishing pole. I smile big every time I recall the afternoon my dad hit a home run in our little league father/son ball game. And my friend who was murdered? We loved to drive down the road and sing all kinds of hymns and songs at the top our voices. Every time I look at the picture of my wife and I standing atop a Mayan Pyramid in Belize or gaze at the sweet picture of the two of us taken in the kitchen a few months before she died, a tear comes to my eye, but also a smile breaks out if not on my face, at least in my heart. Ten out of ten people die, you know. Nearly all of them fear death, and some of the mortally sick fight death, and a few scoff at it. You can do all three if you want, but no matter how much you ignore or deny the reality of death, it is certain. You will die. That, my friend, is why God gave you the gift of humor; you need it to survive. Humor, joy, and contentment make life bearable; they are a shield for your soul. Humor, bliss, and harmony create a cushion between the wonder of birth, the pain of life, and the certainty of death. The sureness of your finite circumstances should cause you to consider the Infinite God and the meaning of life. At your birth, He created within you an awareness of eternity and a sense of destiny. Who am I? Why am I here? What is life all about? What happens to me when I die? Again, it may sound morbid to contemplate your limited life-span, but It can be healing and helpful. Try it. Ponder your destiny. Mull over life's meaning and your mortality. It was far from morbid when my wife and I talked about her imminent death. It allowed us to sing and smile and enjoy the months, weeks, days, and even the final hours we had together. When she died, I cried and cried and cried. But it wasn't long until I smiled with the comfort of knowing what she meant to me, where she is now, and with whom she enjoys a life of no more turmoil, pain, or tears. My memory of the brave and hallowed way she departed this life gives me peace, makes me happy and helps me accept the reality of my own mortality. ©2018 Ronald D. Ross ISSUE 863
A DOZEN REASONS GOD GAVE US HUMOR PART 13: LIFE IS FUNNY! THE PLUS ONE REASON GOD GAVE US HUMOR When I say life is funny, I don't mean that it is always fun. Fact is, most of life is not fun. We see children playing, and we smile because they are so happy, so carefree, so authentic. And they are. But, so were you when you were 7-years-old. So was I. What happened to us? How did we go from laughter to melancholy, from elation to desolation, from joy to sorrow? Life happened, that's how. Over the years we were slighted by a playmate, betrayed by a partner, hurt by a slander, damaged by a mistake, insulted by a teacher, injured by an enemy, or ill-treated by a friend. Smiles turned to frowns, joy turned to sorrow, and stars turned to scars. In one of his many books, Max Lucado tells the story of a contented seventy-seven-year-old man. He quotes the man, saying, "I've had a good life, I am enjoying my life now, and I am looking to the future." Lucado then reports that two weeks later a tornado ripped through the region, and took the lives of his son, daughter-in-law, grandson, and daughter-in-law's mother. The man went from pleasure to pain in a millisecond. It's happened to you as well. Perhaps not as horrible as the man Lucado wrote about; perhaps worse. Nobody has an easy life. Nobody. Not even those whose Facebook profile makes them appear to live in perpetual pleasure. So, the main reason God gave us humor was to help us survive. After all, what would you do if you couldn't laugh at your mistakes? Where would you turn if you could find no relief from your agony? Humor, laughter, and inner joy are possible for you and me only because God embedded in our hearts the ability to find peace in chaos, hope in despair, and laughter in tears. However, God does not force you to see the good in the bad, to find any pleasure in your pain. He leaves it up to you to decide which feeling you will focus on. Your long-term response to the short-term blunders and bumps of life makes the difference. That's why the Bible says there is a time to weep and a time to laugh.[1] It's your choice. Focus forever on the sorrow, and you'll bury the lessons and restrict the usefulness of your experiences. Or, seek to find the joy in the midst of life's misfortunes, then you will learn more and be happier and live longer. Accept, understand, and expand the wisdom and joy that already resides deep within your heart. The gifts are there for you to use. Learn them, love them, take advantage of them. When trouble comes, reach deep into your soul and call forth your God-given gift of humor. It's already there - inside your heart. Joy doesn't come because the sun shines or because of good luck. It comes from within your heart. And it's not put there by people or events. It resides within each person waiting to be summoned for service. God gave the gift of humor to you that you might endure the absurdities of life and survive to laugh, smile, and celebrate again and again and again. [1] Ecclesiastes 3 ©2018 Ronald D. Ross |
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