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Issue 730
SNIPPETZ DIGS UP STORIES ABOUT REAL CELEBRITY HAUNTS by Lindsey Harrison “What terrified me will terrify others; and I need only describe the spectre which had haunted my midnight pillow.” – Mary Shelley, English author We’ve reached the last week of our month of spooky stories and Halloween-inspired history. We’ve covered everything from scary movie makers and actors to fearsome predictions for the future found in science fiction novels. But now, we at Snippetz have decided to finish out October with some terrifyingly truthful accounts of haunted houses. These haunted houses are special, though. Their residents aren’t just your average, run-of-the-mill ghosts; they’re celebrities. Just think: you go to a hotel, expecting to have a relaxing stay with your spouse and the next thing you know, long-dead actress Marilyn Monroe shows up at the foot of your bed, hovering in all her ghostly glory. Some people would be packing their bags and bolting out the door, while others would be trying to take selfies with the famous specter. Regardless of what category you fit into, it’s still interesting to know about which celebrity ghosts have decided to stick around even after the curtain call. And Snippetz is here, as usual, to give you the insider information on these real celebrity haunts! ELVIS PRESLEY We start off with a very well-known celebrity, one who has sparked rumors of ante-mortem sightings even long after he was pronounced dead in 1977. Still sporting his infamous white sequined jumpsuit, the King of Rock N’ Roll is said to haunt the Las Vegas Hilton Hotel, formerly known as the International Hotel, where he held many performances. He is most often spotted in the hotel’s showroom, backstage near the elevators. Presley is also said to haunt Graceland, his home in Memphis, and the old RCA recording studios in which he recorded his first hit, “Heartbreak Hotel.” Apparently, if you want to have your own ghostly encounter with Presley at the old studio, all you need to do is start talking about the King and wait! MARILYN MONROE Following her death in 1962, guests at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood have reported seeing Marilyn Monroe hanging around one of the Cabana Room Suite 246, which she frequently occupied. Mostly, these reports indicate that Monroe appeared to them in the full-length mirror in that room. But just like Elvis Presley, Monroe has also been sighted in other places such as the Hotel del Coronado in San Diego, her tomb in the Pierce Brothers Westwood Village Memorial Cemetery, and the house where her body was found after ingesting a lethal dose of sleeping pills. JOHN WAYNE In 1965, actor John Wayne bought a vessel that had been used by the Canadian Navy as a minesweeper during World War II and converted it into a luxury yacht. Named the “Wild Goose,” the yacht was a common gathering place for Wayne and his cronies, like Dean Martin, Bob Hope and Sammy Davis, Jr. After his death in 1979, Wayne’s ghost was reportedly spotted in various places on the yacht. If you’d like to catch a glimpse of “Duke” yourself, you can rent the yacht from a port in Newport Beach for a paltry $1,450 per hour. ORSON WELLES Known as connoisseur of gourmet foods, especially sweet treats, Orson Welles frequented a bakery in Hollywood for many years before his death in 1985. The bakery, called Melrose Avenue’s Sweet Land Jane, is apparently still one of the writer/actor/director’s favorite hangouts. His spirit is said to often be found by both staff and guests alike, enjoying a leisurely time at his favorite table. Reports indicate his ghost is often accompanied by the smell of his favorite cigar and brandy. BENJAMIN “BUGSY” SIEGEL This notorious mobster died in 1947 when he was gunned down by an unknown shooter inside the Beverly Hills home of his girlfriend, Virginia Hill. Sightings of Siegel’s ghost have been seen not only at the house where he died but also at the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas. Siegel was integral in helping build the hotel, but it is rumored that his cost overruns, skimming from the builder’s budget and various other illegal activities were what eventually got him killed. Supposedly, Siegel haunts the Presidential Suite at the hotel, the room in which he lived for several years prior to his death. Guests report cold spots in the room and items that move about the suite. Additionally, Siegel’s apparition is said to hang out by the pool, a statue and memorial created for him in the hotel’s gardens, and a pool table inside the Presidential Suite. MONTGOMERY CLIFT Marilyn Monroe’s ghost is in good company at the Roosevelt Hotel, since that’s where Montgomery Clift is said to appear. The four-time Oscar nominee spent more than three months living at the hotel while he was filming “From here to Eternity” in 1952. After his death in 1966, guests who stayed in Room 928 reported strange occurrences, like finding the phone off the hook, hearing his spirit pace the floor and making loud, startling and inexplicable noises. One guest even claimed she felt Clift tap her on the shoulder. LON CHANEY, SR. Probably the most well-known actor ever to have played the male lead in “The Phantom of the Opera,” Lon Chaney, Sr. is said to still haunt the sound stage where the movie was filmed after his death in 1930. His ghost is said to appear on stage, wearing the iconic cape and has also been blamed more than once for turning the lights on and off or opening and closing doors throughout the facility. RUDOLPH VALENTINO Considered one of the sexiest men of his time, Rudolph Valentino, a.k.a. the “Latin Lover” died at the young age of 31, in 1926. His body resides in the Hollywood Forever Memorial Park, one of the many places his ghost has been reported to appear. He also frequents the costume department of Paramount Studios and his mansion residence in Beverly Hills. In fact, his former mansion has changed hands multiple times and several of the new owners have reported seeing Valentino wandering the hallways, lounging in his old bedroom, enjoying the view from one of the second-floor windows or hanging out in the stables, although they’ve since been converted into private residences. LUCILLE BALL The star of “I Love Lucy” and cofounder of DesiLu Studios, Lucille Ball died in 1989. Following her death, Ball’s spirit was reported as frequently appearing at her old home in Beverly Hills. She is also said to have appeared in the Paramount Studios building, where “I Love Lucy” was produced. Night watchmen at the facility claim to have seen her spirit on the upper floors and that a strong, floral perfume accompanies these appearances. GEORGE REEVES The former Superman died under suspicious circumstances in his own home in 1959. Supposedly, he got into an argument with his fiancée, Leonore Lemmon and after that, he marched upstairs into his bedroom. Moments later, guests heard a single gunshot and that was the end of Reeves; or was it? His spirit is said to still be hanging around his old house, making random noises in the upstairs bedroom. Often, the sounds are said to be accompanied by the smell of gunpowder. Dogs won’t enter the room, the lights flicker on and off, and Reeves’ ghost has even been seen standing at the foot of the bed in his old room, dressed as Superman. Issue 731
SNIPPETZ ASKS, "HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR HISTORICAL FACTS (AND FICTIONS)?" by Lindsey Harrison “First and foremost, telling historical stories is very tricky because it is something that is known. It is not like you can tell a lie or change something that is written in black and white.” – Anthony Hemingway, American director Yes, Mr. Hemingway, you are right. Well, mostly right. When retelling a historical event, it is important to stick to the facts. Changing history isn’t possible so fudging the facts of a story is definitely a disservice to the people involved. But what happens when history as we know it isn’t exactly spot on? What if the facts aren’t facts at all? It is quite possible if not probable, that somewhere along the line, the facts got a bit mixed up. It’s kind of like the game “Telephone” that we all used to play as kids. One person says something and the next person changes it oh so slightly and by the time it reaches the last person, the original story is almost unrecognizable. History (or the retelling thereof) is no different. So we at Snippetz decided to travel back in time to determine: was it historical fact or was it historical fiction? POPE JOAN Arguably one of the most interesting cases of questionable events in history has to do with the existence of “Pope Joan.” Now, we all know that the priest who is chosen as pope has always been a man, simply because only men can be priests and only priests can be pope. But has that always been the case? Supposedly, a well-educated woman from Germany, who happened to be of English descent, posed as a man in order to enter the ranks of the Catholic Church and was chosen as pope in A.D. 855. The story goes that “Pope Joan” was only found out when she gave birth to a baby boy while riding in a papal procession through the streets of Rome. Obviously, the Catholics were less than pleased to find out they had been duped and the imposter was supposedly tied to a horse’s tail and dragged to her death while being hit with stones. So, could that have really happened? Depends on who you talk to. The Holy See lists Pope Benedict III as reigning from A.D. 855-858 and indicates (either directly or indirectly) that he could’ve been a she. However, there are plenty of people who believed the legend for a period of time. For example, Martin of Poland, a writer who chronicled the history of the papacy in 1265, clearly describes the reign of Pope Joan. Some might contend that Martin had a grudge against the Catholic Church but he was actually a papal chaplain. Additionally, in the trial record of Jan Hus, a Czech heretic that was burned at the stake in 1415, Hus was said to have admonished the Catholic Church for allowing a woman to become pope. But does that mean that the legend of Pope Joan is true? There is definitely evidence to suggest it. However, there is also strong evidence to the contrary, regardless of how widely believed the story was and for how long. JULIUS CAESARIAN SECTION OR BIG FAT LIE? As the story goes, Roman Emperor Gaius Julius Caesar was brought into this world having been physically cut from his mother’s womb in a procedure that came to be called the Caesarian or C-section, after Caesar himself. The legend claims that this Caesar was the first person born through that drastic method and that his mother, Aurelia Cotta, survived the procedure and some reports claim that she actually outlived her son. So, could it be true that Gaius Julius Caesar was the first person born via C-section and that the procedure is named after him because of that? Most sources say no. Historical records indicate that procedures identical or very similar to the C-section had been performed for many years long before Caesar arrived. Usually, the operation was reserved for women who had died during childbirth or as a seriously last-ditch effort to save the baby in the event the birth became too complicated. There are no recorded instances where a mother survived the procedure during that general time period. In fact, the first known instance where a woman survived the operation was in the 1500s when a professional pig castrator successfully delivered his own child. If the procedure isn’t named after Gaius Julius Caesar, why is it called a Caesarian in the first place? It’s likely because the Latin word “caedo” means “to cut.” Obviously, that word sounds very much like Gaius Julius Caesar’s name and that’s probably why the two got hooked up in the annals of history in the first place. Suffice it to say, it’s pretty clear that Gaius Julius Caesar was not who the C-section was named after. FIRST TRANSATLANTIC FLIGHT It might all be a matter of semantics but Charles Lindbergh, who is touted as being the first man to cross the Atlantic Ocean by air, is actually not. True, he was the first man to make the flight solo, a trip that took 34 hours, but he was, in fact, far from the first man ever to make the flight. He ranks more like 85th. The first transatlantic flight was completed by British aviators John Alcock and Arthur Brown a good eight years prior to Lindbergh’s historic flight. That’s not to say that Lindbergh’s accomplishment was any less great; he had to fly the entire trip without a copilot to take over and without autopilot to allow him a rest during that entire 34 hours, and that’s not an easy feat! FLAT WORLD We’ve all been taught that Christopher Columbus sailed west across the Atlantic Ocean and provided indisputable proof that the world was not flat as had been previously believed. But how much of that story is true? Well, we known Columbus took that fateful trip. But he didn’t do it to prove that the world wasn’t flat; everyone already knew that. Whaaat? It’s true. As far back as the scientists of ancient Greece, people had known that the world was round. Somehow, around the 1800s, the belief that earlier civilizations believed the world was flat began to prevail but there’s no clear evidence of why! What our ancestors did believe, incorrectly of course, was that the Earth was at the center of the solar system and that all the planets and the sun revolved around it. That theory was eventually debunked. KEEP IT DOWN (LITERALLY) What a wonderful thing it must be to have a language that gets so incorrectly translated and abused as the Latin language (please not the sarcasm). Not only was the C-section misappropriated but so was the meaning of “vomitorium.” Granted, “vomitorium” lends itself to images of, well, vomit but that has nothing to do with the word’s actual Latin meaning. A “vomitorium” is commonly thought to be a special room in which ancient Romans could purge themselves of a large meal in order to make room for more food. However, the true meaning refers to the entranceway through which crowds entered and exited into a stadium. NO HORNS HERE! Vikings are often portrayed with large horns adorning their helmets. So often is that image used in Viking references that most people would not be able to accurately describe a Viking without using that image! However, that image is entirely false. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest that Vikings wore horns on their helmets; the image actually stems from an 1876 opera by Richard Wagner. Issue 732
SAY THAT AGAIN? SNIPPETZ DECODES SOME COMMONLY-USED MILITARY JARGON by Lindsey Harrison “With freedom comes responsibility, and I can think of no responsibility greater than putting on a U.S. military uniform and standing in the gap between an enemy threat and civilian life.” – Zack Wamp, American politician We all know how important the United States military is to this country. Sometimes we don’t realize the impact the military has on our everyday lives. We are often reminded of how integral our military is to ensuring and securing our freedom. But the military has influenced our lives in another important way, albeit a less serious one. We’ve adopted certain military sayings into our non-military daily lives. The interesting thing is that most of us use these sayings, this jargon, without even realizing where it all came from. So, in honor of the birthday of the U.S. Marine Corps on November 10, Snippetz has gone back through the pages of military history to find some of the most memorable examples of military jargon and compiled it all here, just for you! . . . AND FOR THIS JARGON, WE SALUTE YOU! Whether it’s a saying, a name or just a term, military jargon in our everyday speech is incredibly pervasive, and deceptively so. Here are a few of the more widely-used and well-known examples and where they came from.
Issue 733
SNIPPETZ REVEALS THE “BEAR” FACTS by Lindsey Harrison 
“There’s what we expect bears to do and then there’s what they do. Sometimes the two don’t match.”
– Joe Clark, Canadian scientist With winter right around the corner, our thoughts often turn to ways to stay warm and comfortable during those cold days and long, frigid nights. If you had to choose one animal to represent the way many of us feel during this time, you’d probably choose the bear. They hunker down against the cold weather in a cave or den or some other cozy space. They binge on whatever treats they can find to fill their tummies for that long, long sleep. Truly, nothing is more accurate. BUT . . . what if that impression of the hibernating bear that spends the winter nearly comatose is completely wrong? To be honest, there has been some debate. So what did Snippetz do? We uncovered the bare necessities of bear facts so you can be well-informed the next time you get into an argument about bears, because doesn’t that happen to everyone? TO HIBERNATE OR NOT TO HIBERNATE . . . Up to about 1950, people across the country were confident that bears hibernated. Parents and teachers taught young children all about how bears spent days, even weeks, foraging for food in order to sustain themselves through the winter. We all envisioned the cozy cave where a big bear was curled up awaiting springtime. But, as often happens with natural phenomena, scientists decided to test out that age-old theory to determine whether or not it was true. And guess what? In the 1960s, they did an about-face and said that bears do NOT hibernate at all. So how did they obtain this new information? Acting! Just kidding. Science. They used science. Knowing what scientists already knew about other animals that, without a doubt, hibernate, they compared their findings of what happens to bears during the winter when they are supposedly hibernating to those other animals during their hibernation period. Here’s what they found:
What does it all mean? It means confusion in the scientific community, that’s what it means. Because if bears don’t hibernate, what do they do? Enter the theory of “torpor.” Torpor is a biological state in which animals lower their metabolic rates but for shorter periods of time than that of a truly hibernating animal. But that theory came with its own set of complications, namely the hibernating (or whatever you want to call it) period of a bear is generally deeper than that of other hibernating animals. While some hibernating species drastically reduce their body temperatures, they often have to wake up to eat or urinate every few days. Bears, on the other hand, if left alone, can sleep for six to eight months without waking up to eat, urinate or defecate. In a way, it sounds like bears are the true hibernators and all the others are just wannabes. Whatever you choose to call it, be it hibernating, torpor or even another new-fangled word “denning,” the purpose is the same: animals do this to conserve energy during the months when food is scarce and the weather is nasty. These hibernation periods and even their timing, varies depending on where the bear lives. In North America, black bears, for instance, hibernate for several months during the winter. But in the Artic areas, polar bears can go into hibernation at any time of the year, depending on food availability and the weather. So, where do scientists stand on the whole “hibernation” debate? The bottom line comes down to one main idea: if an animal reduces its metabolism for long periods of time in the face of environmental stressors, that’s considered hibernation. NO BEAR, NO WAY Let’s say you’re out enjoying a particularly warm winter day, walking through the beautiful forests of the Rocky Mountains. It may not have crossed your mind that you could encounter a bear on your hike, but it should. There are a few things that you can do to minimize the chance that you stumble across one, though.
BEAR SNIPPETZ
Issue 734
SNIPPETZ SERVES UP A HARDY HELPING OF PILGRIM HISTORY by Lindsey Harrison 
“Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year because it reminds us to give thanks and to give thanks and to count our blessings. Suddenly, so many things become so little when we realize how blessed and lucky we are.”
– Joyce Giraud, Puerto Rican actress This Thanksgiving, many of us with gather with family and friends around the dinner table to enjoy a day full of food, fun and football. We often reflect on the many different things that we have to be thankful for. We might even begin preparations for the next big holiday to come. But how frequently do we look back to what inspired this holiday? Sure, we all know about how the Pilgrims came to the New World and shared a feast with the natives. There have been plenty of elementary school plays to depict that celebration, that’s for sure. But do we really know who the Pilgrims were? We know why they left their homes and we know that things were difficult during their journey and when they finally reached their destination. That vague understanding just wasn’t enough for us here at Snippetz; we wanted to know more. So dig in to this ration of pilgrim history . . . we hope you like it! FACT VERSUS FICTION Much of what we think we know about the Pilgrims, their voyage to the New World, and life after they landed is based more in legend than fact. It’s a beautiful and brave story to think of a group of oppressed people who believed so strongly in their religion that they were willing to pack up their meager belongings and make the trek across the vast Atlantic Ocean in order to secure religious freedom. And isn’t it great to think of those people safely making it to their destination only to be greeted with open arms by the people that had lived there for thousands of years already? How nice to imagine a huge feast with Pilgrims and Natives alike, sitting side by side and enjoying a feast to celebrate the fall and a successful harvest. The truth is far from beautiful, great or nice. The truth is much less picture-perfect. Here are a few of the rumors about the Pilgrims and what actually happened so very long ago. FICTION: The Pilgrims left England to come to the New World to achieve religious freedom. FACT: The Pilgrims did leave England to achieve religious freedom but it was long before they came to the Americas. They left England in 1607, after illegally breaking from the Church of England and went to the Netherlands. The group, known as the English Separatist Church, consisted of 35 members and they actually stayed in various places in the Netherlands, like Amsterdam and Leiden, for 10 years before they made the journey to the New World. FICTION: The Pilgrims set out for Plymouth, where they intended to set up a colony. FACT: The Pilgrims actually set out for an area at the mouth of the Hudson River, where they hoped to find fertile land to farm. The area they were shooting for is located north of present-day New York City, thought to be part of the Virginia colony. Inclement weather forced the Pilgrims to turn back and try again but they soon realized their supplies were getting low and the weather was not going to cooperate. They opted to go across Cape Cod and ended up in Plymouth. FICTION: The Pilgrims named Plymouth, Massachusetts after Plymouth, England, the town. FACT: Plymouth was named as such long before the Pilgrims showed up. Captain John Smith was exploring the New England coast in 1614 and after drawing up a map of what he had encountered, he gave it to soon-to-be King Charles who began naming areas on the map with English names. That’s how Plymouth got its name and how the Charles River got its name. FICITION: The Pilgrims were the only passengers on the Mayflower. FACT: The Pilgrims were one of three groups of people who were headed to the New World. About half of the passengers were Pilgrims, another small group were sympathetic to the Separatist’s plight but weren’t actually part of that group and the rest were hired laborers. Some were needed to make the journey while others were brought along to provide much-needed services once they reached their new home. FICTION: The Pilgrims enjoyed cranberry sauce with their first Thanksgiving meal, which was served in several courses. FACT: Not only did the Pilgrims not eat cranberry sauce with their Thanksgiving meal, but they also didn’t sit down for a multiple-course meal. Food was laid out across the table(s) and everyone helped themselves to whatever they wanted, in any order. Can you say “dessert first?” FICTION: The Pilgrims were Puritans and avoided sinful things, including alcohol. FACT: Although the Pilgrims may have originally been Puritans, they imbibed in alcohol with no qualms at all. Both adults and children drank beer as their primary beverage. It’s probably wise that they did because contaminated water often made people sick and beer’s distillation process killed most of the bacteria and parasites, making it safer to drink than the water. FICTION: Everything was unicorns and rainbows for the Pilgrims after they reached the New World. FACT: We all know that life as a Pilgrim was not that easy but many of us probably believe that their lives in the New World were better because they were out from under England’s thumb. Quite the contrary, actually. More than half of the English settlers from the Mayflower died during their first winter. They did receive help from Tisquantum, or Squanto, a native of the Pawtuxet tribe that had spent time in England, where he learned the language. Squanto lent his knowledge of farming and hunting to the Pilgrims, facilitated in large part by ability to speak English. It’s likely that, without Squanto’s help, even fewer settlers would have been able to survive that winter. PILGRIM SNIPPETZ
Issue 735
SO, YOU THINK YOU’RE FUNNY, DO YA? SNIPPETZ LOOKS INTO DIFFERENT KINDS OF HUMOR by Lindsey Harrison “A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.” – William Arthur Ward, American writer If you’re funny, then you’re funny. That’s it, right? Maybe not. There are actually many different types of funny that people employ in various ways to achieve the comedic effect they’re looking for. It might be a natural talent that a person uses in their everyday life without even realizing it. Or it could be a deliberate style used by a screenwriter or author to get some laughs. Whether it’s an instinctual thing or a conscious thing, comedy is a part of our lives in many different ways. Snippetz thought it would be interesting to find out what kinds of humor are out there. And of course, we had to find an example or two of each kind so we’re all on the same page about what’s what! So read on to learn about the different kinds of funny! One caveat before we begin: by no means do we intend for this list of “type of funny” to be all-encompassing. If we missed you’re favorite kind of funny, we apologize. But try to relax and enjoy these types of funny, OK? FARCE This type of comedy is based on mockery, often using stereotypes and broad exaggerations. A good example of a farce is the movie “Spaceballs” by Mel Brooks (see photo above). It makes fun of serious space movies, like “Star Wars.” A prime example of farce in this movie is during the opening crawl, where the written backstory “crawls” up the screen, getting smaller and smaller as they go. In “Spaceballs,” the opening crawl states in very small print, “If you can read this, you don’t need glasses.” Not exactly a backstory but a good example of what to expect from “Spaceballs.” HYPERBOLE This type of comedy is a conscious overstatement of facts that is intended to be funny. We often think of comedy as being used in books or film but let’s not forget the “boob tube.” Yes, even television uses comedy and not just in shows but in commercials, too. Ever heard of “The Most Interesting Man in the World?” He’s the star of various commercials for the beer, Dos Equis, and his title alone is a perfect example of hyperbole. Of course, this fictional character is not truly the most interesting man in the world (that title is currently held by one Mr. George Wilkins), but it makes for an entertaining and silly series of commercials. ABSURDISM This type of comedy is based on the belief that the universe itself is absurd, completely ridiculous and unreasonable. A prime example of the use of absurdism is the movie, “Dumb and Dumber.” Essentially, the whole movie is just plain absurd, but one scene in particular stands out among the rest: in order to raise money for their cross-country trip to return a lady’s suitcase to her, Lloyd (played by Jim Carrey) tapes his decapitated parakeet’s head back onto its body and sells the bird to a blind boy. It doesn’t get more absurd than that. CARICATURE If we had to sum up caricature comedy in three words it would be this: Saturday Night Live. SNL often relies on caricature for its skits by portraying a real person in an outlandish or exaggerated way. Typically, the actors hone in on certain aspects of their subject’s appearance, personality, or mannerisms in general. Here’s a perfect example: Will Ferrell portraying George W. Bush. Ferrell would squint his eyes and misuse words to portray the former president. Another example is late night funnyman Jimmy Fallon’s impression of Donald Trump. Fallon wears an audacious wig and purses his lips, totally nailing two of Trump’s most recognizable traits. IRONY Similar to sarcasm, irony is the type of comedy in which there is a difference between what someone says and what they actually mean, or an incongruity between the cause and effect of an action. Irony is typically cutting or biting, and using it on someone whose sense of humor may not be as sharply honed as your own can lead to them becoming offended (trust us on this one). Think back to the movie, “Dr. Strangelove.” In one scene, two men get into a physical struggle and President Merkin Muffley (played by Peter Sellers) says, “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room!” Ha! No fighting in the war room . . . get it? Not exactly biting or cutting, but it is funny! PARODY This type of comedy is a literary or musical work that mimics the style of the original work. Weird Al Yankovic is arguably the king of musical parodies, having recorded more than 150 parodies and original songs. Examples of his parodies include “Eat It” after Michael Jackson’s song “Beat It,” “Amish Paradise” after Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise,” and “Like a Surgeon” after Madonna’s “Like a Virgin.” In each, he redoes the words to the song but maintains the general musical theme to make the original song recognizable and helping people see the humor in his music. MALAPROP This type of humor harkens back to caricature in that they are often used together. A malaprop is a slip of the tongue in which one word is substituted for another that sounds like it but means something entirely (and often ridiculously) different. Like it or not, former president George W. Bush was (and really still is) known for his malapropisms. Here are a few examples: “The law I sign today directs new funds . . . to the task of collecting vital intelligence . . . on weapons of mass production.” And, “We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.” Bush isn’t the only one to have a slip of the tongue like that. How about this gem from former vice president Dan Quayle: “Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.” Yeah, we’re positive that’s not what he meant. Of course, it’s not just politicians who drop the occasional malaprop, although we have to admit, it’s pretty awesome when they do. But this one from boxer Mike Tyson is worth mentioning: “I just might fade into Bolivian, you know what I mean?” Actually, Mike, we don’t know what you mean. Wanna try that one again? PUN We’ve all heard this kind of comedy, probably from our grandpas. This is a play on words that is based either on different meanings of the same word or on similar meanings of different words. One of the best examples of a pun that was effective and didn’t make us want to run our heads into a wall is from the movie, “Airplane!” During an exchange between Dr. Rumack (played by Leslie Nielsen) and Ted Striker (played by Robert Hays), Dr. Rumack says, “Can you fly this plane?” Striker responds with, “Surely you can’t be serious,” to which Rumack says, “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.” That exchange is actually ranked No. 79 in the American Film Institute’s list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema. Movie titles are infamous for their puns. Here are a few of the more clever ones: “Shaun of the Dead”; “The Aristrocats”; “The Santa Clause”; “Maid in Manhattan”; “Monster-in-Law”; and “Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit” (just to name a few). Issue 736
“BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME” SNIPPETZ RECONSIDERS BEST-SELLERS THAT WERE REPEATEDLY REJECTED by Lindsey Harrison “Every rejection is incremental payment on your dues that in some way will be translated back into your work.” – James Lee Burke, American author As the old saying goes, “The third time’s the charm,” right? Maybe that holds true for some scenarios but the movie and literary industries follow their own rules. Some of the most popular and influential writers of our time have presented their works and have been rejected over and over by publishers or film makers. Although being rejected never feels good, can you imagine how those publishers or film makers felt when the project they rejected became a best-seller? But that’s beside the point. The point, in fact, is that without determination and persistence, many classic novels or films wouldn’t exist today. And of course, Snippetz just had to find out which masterpieces landed in the “rejection” pile before finally getting the green light. So, here they are! Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach OK, at first glance, it might be obvious why this book was initially rejected not once but 18 times. It is, after all, a book about a seagull that flew not for survival but for the pure love of flying. Told from the point of view of the seagull, publishers thought the book was a bit of a risk and weren’t sure it would have an audience. Macmillan Publishers decided to take a chance on Bach and in 1972, the book sold more than a million copies. The following year, a movie was released with a sound track by Neil Diamond. Carrie by Stephen King Now, this one doesn’t make much sense; at least not to those of us with a, shall we say, interesting taste in literary topics (don’t judge). Honestly, who wouldn’t be intrigued a book featuring a troubled teenager with telekinetic powers that ultimately kills most of her high school after being picked on one too many times? Apparently, 30 different publishers weren’t intrigued enough to give the story a chance. And King didn’t exactly take the rejection lightly. In fact, he threw the manuscript away. But his wife, Tabitha, dug it out of the waste basket and urged her husband to send the story around again. Good thing she did; his book has been adapted into various movies over the years and King himself has reached a level of fame that has earned him the right to make surprise cameos in his films. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell Can you imagine never hearing the phrase, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn?” Well, if Margaret Mitchell had given up after getting rejected 38 times for her manuscript, Gone With the Wind, there’s a good chance we may not have. This love story set in the South during the Civil War earned Mitchell a Pulitzer Prize in 1937, and considering it’s the only book she ever published, that’s a darn good achievement. The movie, released in 1939, starred Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh, two hugely famous actors of that time period. The Help by Kathryn Stockett We all know that it takes dedication to make it in the literary industry. If everyone gave up after their first rejection letter, no books would ever get published. But what happens when you go into labor while you’re writing the book? Well, in Kathryn Stockett’s case, that’s exactly what happened, and instead of letting that derail her passion to get published, she worked on the book during her labor. Luckily, she managed to finish the manuscript and although it was rejected 60 times, she finally got the go-ahead from one smart publisher. The movie that was adapted from her book was released in 2011 and grossed over $215 million worldwide at the box office. Lorna Doone by Richard Doddridge Blackmore Success can be measured in many ways. One less common but incredibly accurate way is when the heroine in your novel has a cookie named after her. Lorna Doone is not only the name of Richard Doddridge Blackmore’s leading lady, but also a Nabisco cookie. Oh, and his book was adapted into nearly a dozen silver-screen or made-for-TV versions; so there’s that. But if Blackmore had not been persistent, he wouldn’t have gotten 18 rejections before finally getting published in 1889. Auntie Mame by Patrick Dennis What do you do when you have an eccentric, party-happy, totally out of control relative? The sensible thing to do is write a book about that person. And that’s just what Patrick Dennis did in his book, Auntie Mame which is, in fact, based on his wacky aunt. However, in 1955, the concept was met with a less-than-warm reception. Fifteen publishers passed on the novel before Vanguard Press took a chance and published it. Not only was the novel a hit, it was adapted into a Broadway show and a film. In 1956, Dennis became the first author in history to have three books ranked on The New York Times best-seller list at the same time. Kon-Tiki by Thor Heyerdahl Apparently, taking a crew of six men on a 4,300-mile trip across the Pacific Ocean from Peru to Polynesia and then writing about it is not enough to impress publishers. They crew wasn’t on a luxury cruise liner or anything like that; they traveled on a reproduction of a prehistoric balsawood raft. It wasn’t equipped with all kinds of fancy navigation devices, either. In fact, the only modern equipment they had was a radio. Oh, and it was 1947 so there weren’t cellular phones or satellite phones or anything like that. And while the story was intriguing, publishers were looking for something else. One actually said that unless someone drowned the story wouldn’t be very interesting. Finally, in 1953, after enduring 20 rejections, Kon-Tiki was published . . . and now it’s available in 66 different languages. American Graffiti by George Lucas In today’s film industry, if your name is George Lucas, you can pretty much hand over a screenplay and be guaranteed that it will get picked up and turned into a box office hit. But in the early 1970s, that was not the case. His film, American Graffiti was a low-budget, semi-autobiographical drama highlighting teenage life in the early 1906s. At the time, United Artists studio was funding the project but decided to pull out due to creative differences. Lucas was left with a screenplay that no one wanted. For nearly a year, he presented it to some of the best-known studios in Hollywood, including Fox, warner, MGM and Paramount. Finally Universal Studios picked it up and in 1973, the film was released. On a budget of less than $1 million, American Graffiti raked in $140 million at the box office. Not bad for a film that United Artists said was basically a “musical montage.” Star Wars by George Lucas After his success with American Graffiti, Lucas felt confident he could get a studio to pick up his screenplay about warring galactic empires, aliens, robots and space pilots, oh my! Although his actual plans for the movie were still unclear in 1973, Lucas was sure his idea would fly. But both United Artists and Universal Studios passed, citing concerns that the film’s budget would be outweighed by its profits at the box office. Thankfully, 20th Century Fox jumped onboard and the rest is just Star Wars history! Issue 737
SNIPPETZ TACKLES THE TOPIC OF DEFUNCT FOOTBALL TEAMS by Lindsey Harrison “Before you can win a game, you have to not lose it.” – Chuck Noll, American coach During this time of year, the holidays are front and center in most peoples’ minds. Not too far behind, at least in our country, is football. Which teams are winning, which teams are losing, who’s throwing interceptions and who’s making incredible catches. We gather ‘round the TV and shout at the referees when they make ridiculous calls or jump out of our seats when our team scores a touchdown. Since its inception on Aug. 20. 1920, the National Football League (formerly known as the American Professional Football Association) has seen many teams succeed and many teams lose. But what the defunct football teams that live only in history books? Snippetz wanted to pay homage to those teams that faded into oblivion and here’s what we’ve scored in our search for information! WHY, OH WHY? There are a variety of reason why some of the earliest NFL teams didn’t stick around for the long haul. In some instances, like that of the Kenosha Maroons from Wisconsin, the team’s record was abysmal and there was really no reason to keep them around. This unfortunate team only played in the NFL for the 1924 season and did not win a single game. Other teams fell apart for monetary reasons. For example, the Cincinnati Reds played for almost two season in 1933 and 1934, but were kicked out partway through the 1934 season for not paying league dues. The St. Louis Gunners (see photo above) stepped in to finish out the Reds’ season. Let’s not forget the Milwaukee Badgers, though. They played for four good years, from 1922 to 1926, before going bankrupt. The reason? They were fined $500 by the NFL for using four high school players in their lineup. LAST NAMES AREN’T WHERE IT’S AT Names can make or break a team. It’s a well-known fact. Well, maybe it is. Anyway, the point is that your team name needs to be something that is intimidating, daunting or at least recognizable as a worthy opponent. Honestly, who ever heard of the Denver Puppy Dogs, right? During those first years of the APFA, teams changed names like they changed their socks as they tried to find what worked for them. One thing that clearly didn’t work for a few teams was the idea of using a person’s surname as the name of the team. Unless that person was a bad dude, like scary bad, it really didn’t make much sense. Take the Duluth Kelleys, for instance. They played from 1923 to 1925 under that name but changed it to the Duluth Eskimos for the 1926 and 1927 seasons before withdrawing from the NFL. Similarly, the Rochester Jeffersons folded after making it through the 1920 to 1925 seasons. What about the Staten Island Stapletons, you ask? They weren’t necessarily named after a person; they were named after the Stapleton section of Staten Island. They didn’t fare much better, though. They played from 1929 to 1932 before falling apart. But they do hold a very specific distinction as the team to have fielded the shortest player ever to have played in an NFL game. Standing just 5 feet and one-half inch tall, Jack “Soapy” Shapiro played blocking back during that 1929 season. OTHER AMBIGUOUS NAMES Likewise, the New York Yankees (yes, they were a football team) were a team in the NFL in 1927 and 1928, but changed their name to the New York Bulldogs in 1949. In 1950 and 1951, they were called the New York Yanks. The New York Yanks had a great season in 1950, but only managed one win in the 1951 season. The team essentially dismantled after that. Maybe they should’ve stuck with Bulldogs . . . In 1924, the Kansas City Blues played a season but changed their name to the Cowboys for the 1925 and 1926 seasons before folding. Regardless of your feelings for the current Cowboys team, you have to admit, Cowboys are a little more intimidating than Blues. The Columbus Panhandles are another randomly-named team that wasn’t quite up to snuff. They were a charter member of the NFL and earned the distinction as one of the teams to play in the very first game in 1920. However, they changed their name to the Tigers in 1923 but that wasn’t enough to keep them around; they disbanded in 1926. As if the Panhandles wasn’t a strange enough name, guess who they played in that very first game? The Dayton Triangles. What ever happened to those crazy Triangles, you ask? They played from 1920 to 1929 but folded after that. We’re not saying it’s because they were named the Triangles, but you could make a case for it if you wanted. TEAMS WITH STAYING POWER If you call yourself a New England Patriots fan and you don’t know that they were originally the Boston Patriots, shame on you. The team officially changed their name in 1971. And let’s hope all you Steelers fans out there know that your Pittsburgh team was initially called the Pirates. Another team that did the name change thing was the Washington Redskins. That team began as the Orange Tornadoes from Orange, New Jersey. They played the 1929 season from there, but moved to Newark for the 1930 season. They disbanded after that but were reborn as the Boston Braves. They changed over to the Washington Redskins in 1933 and have stuck with that name ever since. Detroit has had a few tries at a NFL team before finally finding the winning combination. First, they were the Detroit Heralds in 1920 and changed to the Detroit Tigers in 1921. That name stuck around for a few years but in 1925 and 1926, they were called the Detroit Panthers. In 1928, they changed yet again to the Detroit Wolverines. Interestingly enough, the current Detroit Lions team that we see playing today is not the descendent of the Heralds, Tigers, Panthers or Wolverines. They were established in 1934 from Ohio’s Portsmouth Spartans. DEFUNCT FOOTBALL TEAMS SNIPPETZ
Issue 738
SNIPPETZ DECKS THE HALLS WITH FESTIVE TOWN NAMES by Lindsey Harrison “At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.” – Thomas Tusser, English poet In most places, Christmas does come just once a year. Sometimes it feels like it comes more often, especially when the stores start putting out holiday items in July. But we can’t let that sour our hearts to the spirit of the season. It can’t be too hard to try to be nice and happy and jolly for a few weeks, right? For some of us, that is quite the undertaking, while for others, it’s a piece of cake. How easy would it be to get in the Christmas mood if you lived in a place that’s named with a Christmas twist? Snippetz decided it was time for us to take a peek into life for the folks in these Christmas-inspired places! CHRISTMAS COVE, MAINE This festive cove is located in Lincoln County, Maine, along the southern edge of the state. It was named for Captain John Smith, who docked in the cove in December 1614. The town of South Bristol is located right on the cove and is home to about 850 people that live there throughout the year. Once summer hits, the population more than doubles. What happens during the holiday season? Not much; it’s Maine after all and it’s cold. There is a Christmas Cove village in South Bristol that you could visit if you decided to do your Christmas celebrating there. SANTA CLAUS, INDIANA It probably comes as no surprise that the town of Santa Claus, Indiana receives its fair share of letters addressed to the Big Guy in Red every year. The town itself is located in the southwestern portion of the state and has a population of just under 2,500. The name “Santa Claus” is actually the town’s second name. It was first named “Santa Fe” (pronounced Santa Fee) when it was established in 1854 but the United States Postal Service rejected that name in 1856 when the town tried to create a post office. The USPS said there was already a town named Santa Fe and the townsfolk would have to come up with something else. Several town meetings later, Santa Fe, Indiana became Santa Claus, Indiana. So what happens to all those letters address to Santa Claus? A group of volunteers that have dubbed themselves Santa’s Elves work tirelessly to ensure that every child who sends a letter receives a response from Santa Claus. The tradition was started in 1914. Various communities within Santa Claus have also received festive names, such as Lake Holly, Lake Noel, Christmas Lake, Christmas Lake Village and Holiday Village. BETHLEHEM, PENNSYLVANIA Nicknamed “The Christmas City,” Bethlehem, Pennsylvania is located in the eastern portion of the state. The town’s name was a very conscious reference to the Biblical town of Bethlehem, the birthplace of Jesus. The story goes that on Christmas Eve in 1741, a group of Moravian (one of the oldest Protestant denominations in the world) missionaries happened upon the Monocacy Creek and decided to stick around. The leaders, David Nitschmann and Count Nicolaus von Zinzendorf decided the name “Bethlehem” was fitting because it honored the event which they had come to the New World to spread the word about; the birth of Jesus Christ. In modern-day Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, the holiday season is celebrated in a big way – with more than 5,500 strands of Christmas lights wrapped around, well, the town itself. CHRISTMAS, FLORIDA Not your typical “Christmas” town, Christmas, Florida, is a portion of unincorporated land in Orange County. The population is less than 1,500 people and boasts the world’s largest alligator-shaped building. Not very Christmasy. So how did this hot and humid part of the country come to be called Christmas? It all happened on December 25, 1837. A force of U.S. Army soldiers, along with a group of Alabama Volunteers, arrived in the area to build a fort, predictably called Fort Christmas. And with that, a new Christmas was born. CHRISTMAS VALLEY, OREGON Another unincorporated portion of the country, Christmas Valley, Oregon is located in the south-central region of the state. As with a few other Christmasy places, the community was named after Christmas Lake, which is located nearby. This happens to be one Christmas location that was not intentionally named so festively. In fact, the area should have been named “Christman,” after the pioneer man who lived there and grazed his cattle in the area. The confusion may have started with former Oregon Governor John Whiteaker, who referenced Christmas Lake in a letter to the editor in 1877, calling it both “Christman Lake” and Christmas Lake.” By the 1900s, everyone was calling it Christmas Lake and therefore, Christmas Valley became known as such. NORTH POLE, ALASKA OK, this one seems pretty darn obvious. Alaska, The Last Frontier, is about as close as this country was going to get to staking a claim to any land near the North Pole. It is actually a suburb of Fairbanks and has a population of just over 2,100 people. Inside the city limits, there are several Christmas-themed streets, including Santa Claus Lane, Snowman Drive and Kris Kringle Drive. There’s not much going on in North Pole at any given time and the biggest tourist attraction is a gift shop called the Santa Claus House, known for the world’s largest fiberglass statue of Santa Claus, sitting outside. As with many of the other Christmasy places, North Pole receives its fair share of mail during the holiday seasons, from little kids wanting to send their letter to Santa at the North Pole to people wanting to get a North Pole postmark on their Christmas cards to family and friends. One unique feature of North Pole, Alaska is the streetlights, which are decorated year-round as candy canes. Makes you kinda hungry for a peppermint, doesn’t it? OTHER CHRISTMASY-NAMED PLACES You know you’re a big deal, holiday-wise, when there is a massive list of places all referring to you in one way or another. Christmas is obviously a big deal; so big, in fact, that we couldn’t possibly list every place in the country that was named after it. So here are some of the other festive places in our fair nation: · Elf, North Carolina · Silver Bell, Arizona · Reindeer, Missouri · Reindeer Hills, Utah · Dasher, Georgia · Vixen, Louisiana · Comet, Arkansas (and Missouri and Montana and North Carolina and Ohio and Virginia) · Cupid, Nebraska · Donner, California (and Florida and Louisiana) · Blitzen, Oregon SNIPPETZ’S IDEAL CHRISTMAS ROAD TRIP If Snippetz decided to take a road trip during the Christmas season, here’s where we would go: We’d start in Antlers, Colorado and head to Evergreen, Colorado. Then we’d hop over to Eggnog, Utah and maybe cruise down to Humbug, Arizona. After that, we’d jog down to Turkey, Texas and swing over to Chestnut, Louisiana. Next, we’d head over to Rudolph, Tennessee, with a brief stop in Peartree, Tennessee. Partridge, Kentucky would be next followed by Mistletoe, Kentucky and Cranberry, West Virginia. Nazareth, Pennsylvania would come next before heading over to Shepherd, Michigan and a quick pit stop in Joy, Illinois and then it’s back home to Holly, Colorado. Unfortunately, we’d have to skip Poinsettia Park, Florida because gas prices are just too high make that trip. Maybe next time, though. Issue 739
SNIPPETZ ROCKS NEW YEAR'S WITH DICK CLARK by Lindsey Harrison “It’s real good to be back with you again this year. You and I have been a part of each other’s lives for so many New Year’s Eves that I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” – Dick Clark, American TV producer and host As the old year comes to a close and we look forward to what the next year has to bring, many of us might be pondering those people we’ve lost along the way. One face that became a mainstay in homes across the country during this time is American TV producer and host, Dick Clark. He was the long-time host of Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, which was broadcast live from Times Square in New York City starting in 1972. So what would the holidays be like if we didn’t take a minute to look at the life of such a cultural icon who contributed so much to the overall spirit of the season? It would be a sad, sad time, that’s what. But Snippetz would never dream of being responsible for a sad, sad time, and so with that, we jump right in to the life and legacy of the legendary Dick Clark! EARLY LIFE Richard Augustus Wagstaff Clark Jr. was born on Nov. 30, 1929 in Mount Vernon, New York. His parents, Richard Augustus Clark and Julia Fuller Clark also had another, older son named Bradley. Sadly, Bradley was killed in the Battle of the Bulge during World War II. Dick Clark went to school in Mount Vernon and it was there that, at the tender age of 10, he decided he wanted to pursue a career in radio. In 1945, he got a job in the mailroom at WRUN, an AM radio station based in Rome, New York. His uncle owned the station and his father managed it. Just a short time after he started, Clark filled in for the weatherman who was on vacation at the time, and a few months later, he set to work announcing station breaks. After high school, Clark attended Syracuse University in Syracuse, New York where he graduated with a degree in advertising and a minor in radio in 1951. During his time at Syracuse University, Clark secured a job at WOLF-AM, a country music radio station. Upon graduation, Clark went back to WRUN, operating under the pseudonym Dick Clay. He made his debut as a television host on “Cactus Dick and the Santa Fe Riders,” a country-music program, and in 1952, he moved to Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania to work as a DJ at the WFIL radio station. That was when he adopted the handle, “Dick Clark.” AMERICAN BANDSTAND WFIL had a TV station affiliate that began broadcasting “Bob Horn’s Bandstand” in 1952. Just like before, Clark was called on to substitute-host when Horn was unavailable. In 1956, though, Horn was arrested for drunk driving and fired from the station. Clark stepped in on July 9, 1956, as the show’s permanent host. On Aug. 5, 1957, the show was renamed and debuted at “American Bandstand” after being picked up by the ABC network. It was an instant hit and in 1958, ABC decided Clark needed his own show. “The Dick Clark Show” became part of the network’s regular Saturday night lineup and by the end of the year, it boasted a viewership of more than 20 million people. Artists could count on their sales getting a significant boost after appearing on his show. PAYOLA INVESTIGATION Clark’s career wasn’t without its share of scandal, though. In 1960, the U.S. Senate began an investigation into payola, the practice of music-producing companies basically bribing broadcasting companies by paying them to favor their products. At the time, Clark had various personal investments in music publishing and recording companies, which were considered a conflict of interest. Clark sold off his shares and eventually came out the other side relatively unscathed. PERSONAL LIFE Clark was no stranger to the ladies; he married three times, the first of which was to Barbara Mallery in 1952. They had one son, Richard Augustus Clark III and later divorced in 1961. Clark then married Loretta Martin in 1962 and had two children with her – a son named Duane and a daughter named Cindy. They divorced in 1971. His third and final marriage took place on July 7, 1977 to Kari Wigton. AHEAD OF HIS TIME In a cultural climate where issues of race led to race wars, Clark managed to seamlessly mesh African-Americans with the mostly white contingent of teenage dancers on “American Bandstand.” If any other TV personality had done such a thing, the you-know-what would’ve hit the fan. Instead, very little was said about his decision to mix things up, race-wise, and Clark remained as popular as ever. Even while he was showing his progressive side, Clark managed to maintain “American Bandstand’s” image as a wholesome, family-friendly show through his dress code requirement. Girls had to wear dresses or skirts and boys had to wear coats and ties. Period. OTHER TELEVISION VENTURES Clark was nothing if not diversified in his professional portfolio. He created Dick Clark Productions and began showing a variety of different programs and game shows, most notably “The $25,000 Pyramid,” “TV’s Bloopers & Practical Jokes,” and (of course) “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.” Clark’s company also produced the American Music Awards, designed as a rival to the Grammy Awards and various made-for-TV movies, including “Elvis,” “Birth of the Beatles,” “Elvis and the Colonel: The Untold Story,” “Copacabana,” and “The Savage Seven.” LATER YEARS Clark suffered a stroke in 2004, but managed to stay involved with his production company and hosted his New Year’s Eve special. His 2012 appearance would be his last; he suffered a massive heart attack and died on April 18, 2012. His legacy lives on in the various facets of his life-long career in broadcasting. Clark spent five decades bringing music and entertainment to viewers and is remembers as a pioneer of pop culture, as well as a visionary in the realm of music and television. DICK CLARK SNIPPETZ
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