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Issue 810
MOTHERHOOD IS THE REAL DEAL... NO JOKE! by Lindsey Harrison “The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.” – Honore de Balzac, French novelist 
A MOTHER ALWAYS KNOWS . . .
John invited his mother over for dinner at the apartment he shared with his roommate, Jessica. During dinner, his mother couldn’t help but notice that John and Jessica might be more than just roommates. But, wanting to be the good, righteous son, John said, “I know what you’re thinking but I promise, Jessica and I are just roommates.” About a week later, Jessica told John that her favorite coffee mug was missing and she hadn’t seen it since John’s mother had visited. “You don’t think she took it, do you?” Jessica asked. “No, that doesn’t sound like her but I’ll email her to see if she knows anything about it,” John replied. Later that night, John sat down to write the email. “Hey Mom,” he wrote. “I’m not saying that you took Jessica’s coffee mug when you came for dinner and I’m not saying that you didn’t take it. The bottom line is that the mug is gone and it disappeared right after you left. Just wanted to let you know . . ., Love, John.” The next morning, John checked his email and noticed he had a response from his mother. “Hey John,” she had written. “I’m not saying that Jessica is sleeping in your bed with you and I’m not saying she’s not sleeping in your bed with you. The bottom line is that, if she had been sleeping in her own bed, she would have found her favorite mug by now. Just wanted to let you know . . ., Love, Mom.” Being a mother is most definitely not a joke. It takes tons of patience, a never-ending supply of hugs and kisses (even when you don’t want anyone to touch you!), and probably most of all, a sense of humor. After all, what else can you do when your child tells your in-laws that you know all about the liquor store because you go there all the time – which, for the record, isn’t true for this writer, just to be clear. Or when they decide to talk about the color of whatever they’ve just deposited in the toilet. You get the picture. With Mother’s Day just around the corner, we at Snippetz could do the predictable thing and write a gripping article about the history of Mother’s Day. But that’s been done and we want to be different! So, without further ado, we bring you this hilarious collection of jokes about moms, what they go through, and why we can’t help but love them with all our hearts! THE JOKE’S ON YOU! If you can’t laugh at yourself, being a parent – and life in general – is miserable. So, while we certainly want to celebrate mothers all around the world, we also want to have a little fun. Here are a few short knee-slappers about moms, including moms, and for moms to bring a smile to your lips today! During his final exam, a police recruit was asked, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He responded, “Call for back-up!” Little Georgie went to his friend, Richard’s house to see if he could play. When Georgie knocked on the door, Richard’s mother answered. Georgie asked, “Can Richard come play outside?” Richard’s mother said, “No, it’s too cold out.” Georgie responded, “Well, then can his football come out and play?” Seven-year-old Frankie was so excited and kept telling his teacher that he was going to have a baby brother or sister soon. One day, his mother let him feel the baby kick in her stomach and while he was clearly amazed, Frankie stopped telling his teacher about the baby. She noticed that he was no longer excited about his new sibling and took him aside. “Frankie, what’s wrong? I thought you were excited about the new baby brother or sister you’re getting,” she said. Frankie started crying and said, “I was but I think Mommy ate it!” Miss Lane was teaching her second-grade class about science and magnetism. She showed how magnets can pick up metal objects but wanted to make sure her class had been paying attention, so she asked them, “What am I if my name starts with the letter ‘M’ and I pick things up?” Little Sammy raised his hand and said, “You’re a mother!” Now you have a few jokes you can take with you to your Mother’s Day lunch and share with your family! They’re easy enough to remember, right? These next few jokes may require a bit more time to memorize, digest, and truly tell in the same hilarious way that we have here. Don’t worry, we have a secret: you can just take this Snippetz magazine with you and discretely refer to it whenever you find yourself a bit lost in the joke. However you choose to do it, just remember: Mother’s Day isn’t a joke, even if these are, so give your mother the respect she deserves . . . like, if she spits milk out of her mouth when you tell the joke, go get her a napkin or something! Anyway, enjoy! THAT’S THE TICKET! A woman who lived in Colorado Springs called her son Mark, who lived in Massachusetts the day before Thanksgiving. “I didn’t want to have to do this over the phone but your dad and I are getting a divorce,” she said. “Forty-five years of being miserable is long enough.” “Mom, what are you talking about?” Mark yelled into the phone. “Where is this coming from?” “We can’t stand the sight of each other and we’re tired of being together,” his mother replied. “I’m tired of talking about this so you need to call your sister, Liz and tell her about it.” Mark immediately hung up and called his sister, who lived in Florida and told her the news. “This is not happening!” she yelled. “I’m not letting them get divorced. Let me handle this.” Liz hung up, called her mother and yelled, “You and dad are not getting a divorce. Don’t do anything. Mark and I are getting plane tickets and we’ll be there tomorrow. Do NOT do anything until we get there, OK?” The mom hung up and turned to her husband. “Well, the kids are coming for Thanksgiving and they’re paying for their own plane tickets!” AND THE COUP DE GRÂCE! Three wealthy brothers each wanted to get something special for their mom on Mother’s Day. The first brother bought her a mansion. The second brother bought her a new car with a driver to take her wherever she needed. The third brother, remembering that their mother loved to read the bible but couldn’t see very well anymore, bought her a parrot and trained it to read bible verses to her. About a week after Mother’s Day, they each received a thank-you card from their mom. The first son’s card said, “Thank you for the huge house but it’s much too big for me and I can’t clean the whole thing by myself.” The second son’s card said, “Thank you for the car and driver, but I don’t really have anywhere to go outside of the house so I don’t use it much.” The third son’s card read, “Thank you so much for the gift, the chicken was delicious!” See, those jokes were pretty funny, right? But all jokes aside, Snippetz wants to wish every mother out there a very Happy Mother’s Day! Issue 811
IT'S NOT A BIRD OR A PLANE... IT'S A UFO! by Lindsey Harrison 
“I happen to be privileged enough to be in on the fact that we have been visited on this planet, and the UFO phenomenon is real.”
– Edgar Mitchell, American astronaut If you really want to start an argument with someone, there are two topics sure to get the job done: politics and UFOs. Don’t believe us? Go talk to the person sitting next to you right now about either subject and see what happens. It’s not likely to go well. The reason seems to be that, for the most part, people feel very strongly one way or the other about both issues. Either you’re a Democrat or Republican or tend to at least lean one way or the other. Either you believe in aliens and UFOs or you don’t. At the risk of “alienating” some of you readers (see what we did there?), we’re going to uncover some things that might make you reconsider your stance on the idea of UFOs and aliens. But don’t worry; we won’t tell anyone that you’re a UFO fiend and planning to put tinfoil on your head to keep the little space people from reading your brainwaves, however true that may be. We all have our reputations to uphold. At least you can enjoy this article because we at Snippetz have sure enjoyed putting it together for you! IN THE BEGINNING . . . Remember how we talked about the Mysterious Hangar 18 a few weeks back? Well this kind of plays into that story. See, people have been convinced for decades that UFOs exist and not just because of the Roswell incident that led to the controversy over Hangar 18. There are plenty of stories about people claiming to have seen some sort of craft flying or hovering or darting through the sky. But one the most compelling assertions is that aliens have somehow managed to create incredible designs in large fields, leaving behind little to no evidence of their presence. That’s right, we’re talking about crop circles. Now, why would we say that crop circles are the beginning of the whole UFO idea? Well, some people claim that crop circles date back to as early as the late 1600s. Then again, some people believe they were abducted and aliens performed medical experiments on them. In both instances, there isn’t much to support the stories. Crop circles themselves are very real, though. The debate generally surrounds their origin rather than their actual existence. Much of the crop circle craze stems from events that occurred in England in the 1960s. Although it isn’t clear how the first story came to be, what is clear is that a series of stories about “UFO nests” were printed in various British newspapers in the 60s. Naturally, they drew some attention but it’s unlikely that anyone anticipated what would happen nearly a decade later, when two very bored Englishmen decided to have a little fun. Those two men were Doug Bower and Dave Chorely who lived in Southampton, England, apparently had had enough of the humdrum lives they lived in their little town and wanted to do something to spice things up. Having read the stories about UFO nests, the men decided they would make their own version, using boards, string and a few other simple tools. They spent many a night working their way through field after field, creating intricate and complex circular patterns by flattening out the vegetation with the board. Imagine the owners of those fields waking up to huge designs etched into their wheat or barley. As you probably guessed, that was enough to spur a new wave of UFO interest as many people came to the conclusion that the patterns were of other-worldly origin. Now, it can’t really be considered a craze if the mania happens in only one sleepy little town in England. Throughout the next two decades, crop circles popped up in other locations including Australia, Canada, the United States and even Afghanistan. Clearly, Bower and Chorely weren’t responsible for those patterns. So where were they coming from? Bower and Chorely apparently had enough fun by 1991 and decided to tell the truth about the Southampton crop circles’ origins. Skeptics claimed they knew all along that the crop circles were man-made while others cited the designs found in other locations and stated there had to be another explanation. Things didn’t slow down, even after the men came forward. In fact, in 1995, more than 200 crop circles were reported around the globe. And when a new formation appeared in 2001 in Wiltshire, England (again?), that covered more than 12 acres and featured 409 separate circles, there was only so much that could be explained away as a product of humans. The truth is still out there . . . THERE IT IS!!! If you’ve been good little readers and kept up with our magazine, you remember the article about Roswell and Hangar 18 . And if you haven’t, we mentioned it a little bit ago so just try to keep up. Anyway, we all have a basic knowledge of the Roswell incident. It’s arguably one of the most famous UFO incidents in history. But there are lots more. Here are a few of the more famous ones: Battle of Los Angeles – just a couple months after Japan attacked Pearl Harbor and ultimately dragged the U.S. into World War II, another aerial incident occurred over Los Angeles County in California. On Feb. 25, 1942, a silver-toned object appeared in the sky and sent air-raid sirens wailing. Antiaircraft weapons were fired at the object for nearly an hour and high-powered searchlights followed its progress across the sky. Supposedly, the object sustained at least one hit, but no evidence was ever found to support that claim and the object was never downed . . . nor was it ever seen again. The Marfa Lights – located in western Texas, the town of Marfa is home to an unusually high concentration of sightings of “ghost lights.” Along Highway 67, nearly every night, travelers are treated to a series of glowing orbs in various sizes and colors which bob and weave through the brush on the flatlands just north of the Chinati Mountains. Supposedly, reported sightings dates back to the 1880s and no origins ever been determined. The Hill Abduction – remember those people who claim to have been abducted that we talked about earlier? Well, Barney and Betty Hill are two such individuals. They claimed that on Sept. 19, 1961, they were chased by a UFO while driving along Route 3 in New Hampshire. Supposedly, the UFO caught up to them and somehow forced them off the road. The couple then claimed not to remember much other than being taken aboard the spacecraft, examined, and questioned by the aliens on board. Barney said he saw the aliens through the windshield of his vehicle before they were “beamed up” and the creatures had very large eyes. Their account has been published and is now a well-known story in the UFO community. CELEBRITY UFO SIGHTINGS SNIPPETZ Not even celebrities are immune from apparent alien encounters. Here are some of the celebrities who have claimed to see UFOs over the years:
Issue 812
SNIPPETZ IS JUST SPEAKING IN GENERAL... ABOUT GENERALS! by Lindsey Harrison 
“I can’t even begin to visualize myself as a five-star general . . . when I think of the people who are five-star generals, I can’t even see myself standing in their shadow.”
– Norman Schwarzkopf, American general A soldier’s life is never easy. Being thrown into a foreign country to fight for the freedom of people who probably don’t even like you is a sacrifice many of us have not had to make. Others know all too well the hardships faced by our military personnel each and every day. It’s true, the military life is not for everyone and that’s OK. But it makes those of us who have served our country even more admirable, especially those who have decided to make a career out of it. Although it would be amazing to personally recognize each and every soldier who has protected our country over the years, that is impossible for our small (but incredible) Snippetz magazine. So, we decided to honor our military community with a tribute to notable American generals throughout history, in no particular order, of course. GEORGE WASHINGTON Regardless of your feelings of him as a person, president or even a general, we would be remiss if we didn’t start our list with George Washington. Why? Aside from being the first president of the United States of America, Washington made a name for himself with his unusual leadership methods that ultimately helped secure the independence of this great country of ours. No, not every decision he made ended up in an overwhelming military success. But the efforts he made were spectacular nonetheless. For instance, under his command, Washington’s troops managed to drive the British out of Boston by organizing various militia groups from Cambridge into the Continental Army regiments. Additionally, Washington had an uncanny ability to know when it was a good time to stay and fight, and when it was better to cut his losses and back off. He did just that in 1776 when he retreated from Long Island and Harlem Heights back to New Jersey and Pennsylvania. But the brilliant part wasn’t just that Washington knew when to pull back, it was that he did so in a manner that prompted General William Howe, leader of the British troops, to completely underestimate the Continental Army’s abilities. The famous painting of Washington crossing the Delaware River depicts the advancement of his troops on December 25 and 26, 1776, where they drove Howe’s troops out of Trenton. Pretty notable, right? ROBERT E. LEE No, the decision to list Robert E. Lee next on our list of notable generals has nothing to do with the fact that this writer’s grandfather was named after him. Nothing at all. It definitely has to do with the fact that Lee was arguably the best Confederate general of the entire Civil War. In fact, many people actually consider him the best general of the Civil War, in general (get it?). He was even offered a position as the top commander of the Union army but turned down the job. Eventually, Lee stepped in for General Joseph E. Johnston who had been injured in battle, and thus became the leader of the Army of Northern Virginia. Although the south would ultimately lose the Civil War, Lee’s legacy remains in his unparalleled strategic thought processes and abilities, setting him apart from the rest of his compatriots. Lee apparently knew things about the generals of the Union Army that the generals themselves didn’t know, allowing him quite an advantage, tactically speaking. Lee’s downfall came when he much-too-aggressively attacked the Union troops at Gettysburg in 1862, when it would have been better to act on the defensive. He went on to fight for three more years until he was forced to surrender on April 9, 1865 at Appomattox Court House in Virginia. GEORGE S. PATTON When your nickname is “Blood-and-Guts,” it’s likely that you command a certain amount of respect and even awe. That was exactly what George S. Patton did. Aside from his amazing military coups, Patton was notable for also being an incredible athlete. He took fifth place in the 1912 Olympic Games for the pentathlon. Additionally, Patton was a rare breed of soldier who first learned to fight in the cavalry when horses were used but remained when machines eventually took over the animals’ jobs. He fought during World War I, where he organized and led the 1st Tank Brigade into various battles during late 1918. It’s no wonder then that a series of tanks were named after him, considering he also spent plenty of time between wars working on advancing tank technology. Patton was known for his somewhat overblown sense of bravery, including an incident that apparently offended his senses . . . he witnessed a soldier attempting to find respite in a hospital bed without any indication of injury and subsequently slapped the soldier across the face and called him a “damned coward.” Above all else, however, Patton was a notable general because that’s what he was, a general. Not a politician, just a general who wanted to win whatever battle was before him at the time. And if that’s not notable, then we don’t know what is! DOUGLAS MACARTHUR If you graduate at the top of your class from West Point and you also happen to be the son of a Medal of Honor recipient, chances are that you’re going to do some pretty notable things. That was precisely what Douglas MacArthur did. Interestingly enough, MacArthur was actually retired from the United States Army when he was reinstated by President Franklin Delano Roosevelt after it became clear that war with Japan was imminent. Although some of his first military decisions were missteps that could’ve resulted in his removal from leadership, MacArthur managed to come out on top and it’s a good thing that he did. He’s the general responsible for the idea of “island-hopping” which became an integral tactic in winning World War II. Although there isn’t definitive proof, you could argue that Japanese leadership surrendered when they heard that MacArthur was slated to lead the invasion of Japan. And let’s not forget that MacArthur’s bold strategies ultimately saved American lives during WWII, which in itself is a darn good reason to consider him a notable general. However, he also served as the Supreme Commander of the United Nations forces during the Korean War. His strategic planning there all but annihilated the North Korean Army, although he ended up prompting China into the war, which was not such a good thing for the U.S. He was recalled after that and replaced by Lieutenant General Matthew Ridgway, another notable general that we could probably write a whole other article about but we just don’t have time. Following his replacement by Ridgway, MacArthur retired. Regardless of how his career ended, MacArthur still represents one of the most ostentatious generals of WWII, and possibly of U.S. history, who should be held in high regard for the efficacy and efficiency of his methods. And let’s not forget that those methods also resulted in a low casualty rate during his command, which in and of itself is notable, as we’ve mentioned before. There are many other generals we could highlight but we just don’t have the space. However, Snippetz would still like to extend our unrelenting gratitude for those who have fought to keep our country safe . . . general or not! Issue 813
WHAT ON EARTH ARE THESE PLANETARY THEORIES ALL ABOUT? by Lindsey Harrison “Life is fairly easy to create but I think planets like Earth are going to be rare.” – Donald E. Brownlee, American professor of astronomy In the world of science and planets and whatnot, things are constantly changing. Or at least it seems like they are. For example, growing up most of us were taught that Pluto was the ninth planet in our solar system. Prior to 1930, we didn’t even know Pluto existed. Now, here we are in 2017 and poor little Pluto has been downgraded to a dwarf planet. Geez, could we just figure out what it is and stick with that? Anyway, the point is that, as humans, we are naturally curious about our surroundings and will seek to find answers to questions that seem unanswerable at times. Even with all the fancy-schmancy technology out there today, we still occasionally get things wrong. But we posit theories, investigate them and eventually we come up with a conclusion. It may be correct, for a few years at least until someone comes along and disproves it, or it may be so off-base that people wonder how in the world the theorist managed to get himself or herself dressed in the morning. Regardless of the outcome, developing theories is one of the only ways to discovering the truths that lie outside our general field of knowledge. With such interesting theories floating around out there, Snippetz couldn’t help but wonder: what are some of the previous planetary theories developed about this lovely little planet we call Earth? FLAT IS FLAT IS FLAT We’ve all heard that years ago, the world was thought to be a flat surface and if you travelled too far, you risked falling off the edge of it into some dark abyss. Lots of people like to think that Christopher Columbus discovered that the world wasn’t flat after all. That, in and of itself, is a theory that just doesn’t fit. For starters, Columbus never set out with the intention of proving that the world was round. He was looking for a faster route to India, which is why he called the first people he encountered in the New World “Indians.” Second off, the theory that the world was flat was hardly disputed by the time Columbus set out on his famous voyage. In fact, for hundreds of years prior to his existence, people around the world held the belief that the earth was flat. Ever heard of a guy named Homer? No, not the Homer from the Simpsons who drinks beer and is a pretty big dummy all around. We’re talking about the Homer who wrote the epic poems, Iliad and Odyssey. Sound familiar now? Well, Homer described the earth as flat even way back then. Other cultures like the ancient Chinese believed that the earth was not spherical as we now know it is. They believed the earth was square but if you think about it, you can just as easily fall off a square surface as you can a flat one. In ancient Egypt and Mesopotamian times, the world was thought to be a flat disk just floating around in some vast ocean. And just think about how many people get confused by the maps we have today. In order to make the spherical Earth fit onto a flat map, we totally mangle it to have these massive arms that, if the map were indeed folded into a sphere, would make some semblance of sense. The point is that, it’s not such a far-fetched idea to think the world is flat if the only point of reference you have is a map drawn by someone who has never been outside the Earth’s atmosphere to see for themselves the true shape. SLEEPY HOLLOW? NO, HOLLOW EARTH Probably one of the lesser-known theories was posed by John Symmes in1818. Symmes was a curious fellow who liked science and managed to become successful enough in his business ventures that he could afford to print out pamphlets touting his theories to anyone who cared to read about them. On April 10, 1818, Symmes printed a pamphlet that announced: “I declare the Earth is hollow and habitable within.” Pretty bold statement, right? Right. Especially considering he did not base his claim on anything scientific whatsoever but that’s beside the point. Symmes spent the next several years of his life attempting to convince anyone that would listen that his theory held water. He was convinced that the North and South Poles each had massive holes in them, which were the access points to the inner “hollows” of the earth. The hole at the North Pole was almost 4,000 miles in diameter, while the one at the South Pole was 6,000 miles across. Or so said Symmes. Throughout his lifetime, Symmes attempted to find supporters and sponsors to raise the funds to pay for an expedition to search for one of the Pole’s holes. Apparently, he felt the North Pole hole was the easier one to reach and that was his plan, should he ever get the money together. Symmes went so far as to petition congress, with the help of Kentucky State Representative Richard M. Johnson, to finance the trip. While the petition made it all the way to the floor of the House of Representatives, it was ultimately defeated in a 56-46 vote. Several other failed attempts resulted in Symmes dying in 1829 without ever realizing his dream of finding the entrance to Hollow Earth. However, a friend and partner who believed in Symmes’s cause, Jeremiah Reynolds, secured funds from a private investor in New York, purchased a ship and set sail for the South Pole to find that hole. He didn’t end up finding one, though. Sad day. TURTLES, ELEPHANTS AND SNAKES, OH MY! Although it probably seems like the most far-fetched of all the theories we’ve presented, the theory of “The World Turtle” is actually more pervasive than it seems. Basically, the idea is the body of a giant turtle or tortoise is actually the container of the universe, while the earth is the turtle’s lower shell and the upper shell is the heavens. Several variations of this particular theory have made the rounds, including the idea that the world (often depicted as something like a half-sphere) is balanced on top of four elephants, which in turn are standing on top of a massive turtle. People who believed this theory even had explanations for how certain things occurred, like eclipses, which to an uniformed person must seem incredibly ominous. Supposedly, the idea is that when the sun “darkens” it is because the great turtle, which supports the earth, has shifted position somehow and brought its shell in between the earth and sun, blocking out the sun’s light. Pretty smart if you think about it, regardless of how inaccurate it may be. In general, theories like the World Turtle theory typically have more religious origins than that of Symmes or the flat-earth people. The remarkable thing is how widely-spread such a belief was, considering it had the cross the boundaries of various faiths. But ultimately, the shared belief likely helped the opposing cultures work and live in harmony with one another. So, there’s definitely some good that has come from these wacky theories about the world!! Issue 814
SNIPPETZ SAYS "THIS IS NO HOAX..." ALTHOUGH THESE STORIES CERTAINLY ARE! by Lindsey Harrison 
“The problem with quotes found on the Internet is that they are often not true.”
– Abraham Lincoln, American president OK, so you probably figured out that the above quote from President Lincoln is not a genuine, bona fide quote from the 16th president of the United States of America. If you didn’t, don’t worry. We chose that quote for a very specific reason, namely that sometimes we, as a society in general, tend to be a bit gullible. Maybe we don’t believe all the silly things thrown around on the Internet, and that’s a good thing, but consider the fact that the term “fake news” is in regular usage nowadays. To be fair, it can definitely be hard to determine the difference between real news and fake news. We think the reason why is that humans have a general ingrained desire to believe what people tell us. We don’t want to think that the government could be lying to us, or that the media might have an ulterior motive to how they present a story. So, it’s really no wonder that the human race has fallen for some pretty ridiculous hoaxes over the course of history. Admittedly, some are a bit more believable than others but the truth is that we have been duped time and again. Lucky for us at Snippetz, those incidents are pretty good fodder for articles so we’ve rounded up a batch of some of the greatest hoaxes throughout history for you . . . and we promise this article is no hoax! THE CARDIFF GIANT We’re going to start off with one of the best (or worst?) hoaxes ever executed and we say that simply because it turned into an argument about whose fake was the real fake. Does that even make sense? Anyway, the story of the Cardiff Giant goes like this: in 1869, some workers were digging a well outside the town of Cardiff in upstate New York. Supposedly, they came across the petrified body of what appeared to be a giant – a 10-foot-tall man, to be precise. The workers were hired by George Hull, who naturally claimed rights to the specimen and started charging people 50 cents to see what came to be known as the Cardiff Giant. Now, this is where it gets strange: P. T. Barnum (yes, THAT Barnum) found out about the giant and offered to buy the oddity from Hull, who declined. Well, Barnum wasn’t about to be outdone so he fabricated his own giant and charged visitors to see it. To top it off, Barnum actually took Hull to court, claiming the Cardiff Giant was a fake. Eventually the truth came out, revealing that Hull, as a prank on a fundamentalist minister who claimed the Earth was once populated entirely with giants, was a complete and utter fake. Hull had the “giant” carved from gypsum and washed with sulfuric acid to make it appear old. As far as hoaxes go, this was a pretty good one, considering it ended in a lawsuit that proved both “giants” were fakes. But who are we to judge? After all, we had the Balloon Boy incident . . . THE BALLOON BOY This may not be one of the greatest hoaxes ever in the history of the world, but since it happened here and it was a recent event (and we also just mentioned it), we thought it fitting to include something about it. You may recall that, in 2009, Richard Heene caught the attention of the local Fort Collins media when he claimed his 6-year-old son was trapped inside a gas balloon that had taken to the sky and flown off. The media managed to track down the balloon and aired dramatic footage of it floating high above the earth, supposedly with a little boy stuck inside. Not long after the incident, Heene revealed that his son was actually home the entire time and he was hoping for some sort of reality T.V. contract/spinoff from the incident. The reality T.V. dream was just that and Heene was sentenced to 90 days in jail, plus a fine of $36,000 for wasting the time of the rescue personnel. THE PILTDOWN MAN Originally thought to be one of the most important scientific finds of its era, the Piltdown Man ended up being nothing more than a let-down . . . man. The supposed discovery was made by Charles Dawson, a lawyer and amateur fossil hunter, in 1912. Dawson claimed to have found the possible “missing link,” the fossil that would definitively prove the theory of evolution posited by Charles Darwin in “On the Origin of Species.” The fossil was a skull that appeared to have a human-like cranium with an ape-like jaw attached and Dawson claimed to have uncovered it in a gravel pit in Piltdown, England. Naturally, nay-sayers emerged immediately, claiming the fossil appeared to be an amalgam of a human skull and ape jaw to create a less-than-completely-believable hoax. They continued their negative campaign until about 1917, when a second skull emerged in roughly the same place. At last! The proof was finally in the pudding, as they say. Well, that pudding is expired, moldy and toxic. In 1953, the fossil was eventually revealed as exactly what the nay-sayers had been saying all along: a pieced together attempt to fool the scientific community and secure a place in the history books for Dawson. Fluorine dating showed the bones could be no more than 100,000 years old, although the jaw was thought to be no more than a few decades old. But just as Hull had done before, Dawson used chemicals to artificially age the bones to strengthen his lie. He certainly secured a place for himself in the history books, just none that are scientific. Better luck next time! THE LADY WHO BIRTHED RABBITS So, this particular hoax may not be as believable as say, the Piltdown Man, but it certainly serves to illustrate man’s need to believe what someone says, regardless of how absolutely absurd the assertion may be. Here’s what went down: in 1726, a woman named Mary Toft claimed to have given birth to rabbits. Well, more like rabbit parts. Supposedly, she gave birth to a few random dismembered rabbits parts and then several days later, experienced the same extremely strange (and biologically ridiculous) phenomenon. Naturally, when the local media got wind of her claims, they wanted her to prove what she had said happened. It’s probably no shock to learn that she couldn’t. She was dragged into court and threatened with a surgical inspection of her uterus to provide definitive proof one way or the other before she finally relented and admitted it was a hoax. THE LOCH NESS MONSTER’S FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPHIC DEBUT Remember when that photo of the Loch Ness Monster surfaced that appeared to show the legendary creature stretching its neck above the water like a submarine briefly surfacing? Well, if not, let’s just say it could be something otherworldly like a monster from the depths or it could be someone’s hand. Since it’s a grainy black-and-white image, it’s hard to say. But of course, people will believe what they want to believe and this happened to be just one such instance. In 1934, it certainly seemed like proof enough. But after years of poking and prodding, the photographer Robert Kenneth Wilson eventually admitted it was a submarine with a wooden head attached. He used it to get the infamous photo that graced the cover of tabloids for decades. If ever there was a hoax that gripped the conspiracy theory-type crowd among us, this was definitely it! Well done, we suppose. Issue 815
SNIPPETZ SAYS, "DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200" by Lindsey Harrison 
“If you circle above Central Park at night in a helicopter, you’re looking down at the most expensive real estate in the world. It’s the American Monopoly board.”
– Ridley Scott, British director Nothing can ruin a family game night like a round of Monopoly and your uber-competitive older brother. Don’t get that twisted; Monopoly is a great game and can work wonders for kids who are learning how to count or about income tax. But let’s be honest. The point of the game is to buy up as much property as possible and bankrupt your opponents. With such a cutthroat theme, it’s a wonder how Monopoly ever gained in popularity at all! Or maybe it’s not, considering the United States of America literally runs on capitalism. Most people typically like to escape their circumstances while playing a game, at least in their minds. Why else would things like Live Action Role-Playing have ever come to be? And that certainly makes sense when it comes to the creation of Monopoly back in the Great Depression era. But times have changed and we at Snippetz thought it pertinent to look into the story behind the thimble and Scottie dog; the Reading Railroad and Park Place; the history of the game of Monopoly! THE BIRTH OF AN ICON Truly, Monopoly can be considered an American icon simply because everyone knows what it is, even if they’ve never gotten the chance to play it. And as we mentioned before, it perfectly depicts American society, even though it was created in about 1933. We say “about” because there are several conflicting theories about the origins of the game, including who really came up with the idea. The true Monopoly game was designed in 1933 by Charles Darrow. However, his product is essentially the culmination of several different versions developed by several different people over a span of about 30 years. In 1904, Elizabeth Magie-Phillips, a Quaker woman, created and patented her game called The Landloard’s Game. She intended for it to illustrate the principals of economist Henry George, who theorized that a single tax based on land ownership would encourage economic equality and opportunities, while discouraging land speculation. Magie-Phillips wasn’t planned to make the game a fun competition, but rather a somewhat grim demonstration of the fact that landowners have more financial advantages than non-landowners. As the years passed, The Landlord’s Game saw several iterations, including Finance and Auction Monopoly before the game we now know as Monopoly was developed. During that time, at least eight different people/groups had input into one of those variations. In fact, there’s speculation that Darrow, the supposed inventor of Monopoly may have only contributed minimally to the game. GETTING RID OF THE COMPETITION In true Monopoly fashion, the eventual owners of the game, the Parker Brothers, found a way to secure their version, which they purchased from Darrow. They paid off the other people involved in the previous versions and managed to knock out any competing interests in the game’s profits. Interestingly enough, the Parker Brothers initially rejected Darrow’s proposal for the game, citing “52 fundamental errors” they felt would keep Monopoly from being profitable and popular. Among those 52 errors were the amount of time it took to complete a game, the theme of capitalism and the complexity behind the various concepts involved. Darrow would eventually prove the Parker Brothers wrong when he managed to successfully sell Monopoly in local department stores in Philadelphia. Armed with 5,000 copies of the game, he sold each for $2 and as fate would have it, one ended up in the hands of Sally Barton, the daughter of George Parker with . . . you guessed it . . . the Parker Brothers! Once he saw how successful the game was, his company purchased the rights to the game and offered Darrow royalties on the game sales, which he gladly accepted. So, what does all that have to do with the Great Depression? Well, in the time when everyone was struggling just to make ends meet, a game in which a person could hit it rich by purchasing the right property at the right time was exactly the type of mental escape many people needed. Additionally, Darrow himself was an unemployed salesman so the thought that he was able to take a simple idea that, rumor has it, he drew out on a tablecloth and turn it into a successful business was pretty darn good for sales! SAYING GOODBYE TO THE THIMBLE?? Bearing in mind that the true Monopoly game came out in the early 1930s, it makes sense that Darrow would want to make it relatable by making the playing pieces things you could supposedly find around the house. For instance, you could use a bottlecap for one player’s piece, a thimble for another’s. Rumor has it (again) that Darrow used the charms from his niece’s charm bracelet for the very first playing pieces but there’s only so much evidence to support that. Since its inception, the Monopoly game has seen many different playing pieces come and go, but the original six pieces are as follows: the top hat, the thimble, the iron, the boot, the battleship, and the cannon. Of those, only two remain! The boot, the iron, the cannon and just recently, the thimble have all been retired in favor of newer pieces. The racecar, which is still part of the game, was added in the mid- to -late 1930s, along with the purse, the rocking horse, and the lantern. The latter three have all been retired. In the 1950s, the iconic Scottie dog, wheelbarrow, and the horse and rider came onboard, although the latter was quietly taken out of play and wheelbarrow met its demise in January 2017. So far, this year has been devastating to Monopoly pieces and we’re barely halfway through it! From 1999 to the present, several other pieces have been introduced or suggested. They include the sack of money which was voted out less than 10 years after it appeared in 1999, and the cat which remains in play today. Rejected pieces include a helicopter, a diamond ring, a guitar and a robot. In the fall of this year, brand new pieces are slated for inclusion, which is pretty darn exciting! Keep your eye out for the T-Rex, the rubber duck and the penguin. Each of these new pieces was approved in a vote but there has been a bit of push-back from people who say they don’t represent the original theme of the game. MONOPOLY SNIPPETZ
Issue 816
SNIPPETZ WISHES YOU A VERY HAPPY JUNETEENTH! by Lindsey Harrison “I love holidays in New York. I love ‘em. I want to celebrate something all the time, and New York has holidays every day of the week practically.” – Elaine Stritch, American actress If Mrs. Stritch was still alive today, she would be thrilled to know that there are plenty of holidays to celebrate that very few people, if any, have ever heard of . . . literally a different holiday every single day. Speaking of obscure holidays, you probably didn’t know that June 19 is actually a holiday called “Juneteenth.” Don’t worry, we didn’t either. But there’s no time like the present to get acquainted with some of the lesser-known holidays out there. No, we’re not talking Grandparents Day or Arbor Day or even Flag Day (which was June 14, by the way). We mean those really super-obscure holidays. And what better way to highlight them than to immerse yourself in the stories behind the holidays. So, sit down with a cup of coffee and your copy of Snippetz, kick up your feet and don’t forget to wish everyone you see a Happy Juneteenth! THE HISTORY OF JUNETEENTH We know what you’re thinking: Juneteenth sounds like a totally made up holiday. There’s no possible way it’s a real thing, right? Wrong. Juneteenth, the mash-up you get when you squish “June” and “nineteenth” together, is actually a pretty important date. It represents the official end to slavery in the United States of America. Considering that, it’s surprising it isn’t more widely-known and celebrated. Here’s how it all started: as you probably recall, the United States was wrapped up in a Civil War between 1861 and 1865. Brother fought brother and the country was truly split. One key point of contention was the use of slaves, which (for the most part) the northern half of the country opposed while the southern half favored the practice. After years of bitter battling, the war came to an end in 1865 when the Confederacy (the southern states, basically) surrendered. Now, back in those days there were no cell phones or Internet or really any way to efficiently disperse information. So, it probably comes as no surprise that it took two whole months for the news of the surrender to reach the furthest ends of the country, like Galveston, Texas for example. On June 19, a full two months after the end of the war, a troop of Union soldiers made it to Galveston and relayed the news that President Abraham Lincoln had officially ended slavery with the issuance of the Emancipation Proclamation. It’s not clear how well the Proclamation was enforced or who was even informed about it since there wasn’t exactly an email blast sent out to all slave owners about the freedom of what they considered their property. But regardless of that, the news was finally spread and slavery was abolished. Washington, D.C. celebrates Emancipation Day on April 16, the date Lincoln officially signed the Compensation Emancipation Act in 1862, which freed more than 3,000 slaves in D.C. However, slavery itself was not officially abolished until the end of the war in 1865 and since it was June 19 of that year that Galveston folks got the news, they decided to make it a holiday and called it Juneteenth! Texas officially adopted the holiday as a state holiday on June 3, 1979 and although it is clearly a pivotal moment in our nation’s history, just a little more than half of the other states celebrate Juneteenth as a holiday. Maybe Monument can start a movement and bring Juneteenth to Colorado as a real celebratory day! OTHER LESSER-KNOWN HOLIDAYS Now, we’re not trying to indicate that Juneteenth doesn’t have the importance of other holidays; it’s a fact, however, that it is lesser-known than many other holidays. Luckily, there are TONS of lesser-known holidays out there. If you felt so inclined, you could literally celebrate a different holiday every day of the year! We’ve decided to compile some of the more interesting holidays for you and a bit about them in case you want to partake in any additional celebrations in the future. Male Watcher’s Day You read that correctly: Male Watcher’s Day is a holiday celebrated on January 8. You missed out this year but you can always mark your calendars for next year! Anyway, while there isn’t any information to indicate who concocted the day, when they did so and what the intent was, the e-card industry has jumped on the bandwagon and you can send a Male Watcher’s Day card to friends and family. So, without much guiding advice on how to celebrate, here’s a few ideas: watch the male construction workers around town (there’s certainly plenty along the roadways in Colorado Springs); watch the male cashier at your local grocery store; watch your son as he jumps on the trampoline; or even watch your husband while he plays on his phone . . . that last one is sure to raise some questions, especially if you stare intently at him with no explanation of why you are doing so! Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day February 7 sure is an important date. It’s the official Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day. Of course, this is another one you’ll have to mark for next year but just imagine how appreciative your neighbor will be if you wave all your fingers at him or her! Especially if you happen to occasionally wave just one . . . you catch our drift? Anyway, there’s no official information to support who created this holiday and when, or even why. But, suffice it to say, it’s a holiday we can all get behind! Everything You Think Is Wrong Day Aside from March 15 being the “ides” of March that Julius Caesar was supposed to beware of, it also represents Everything You Think Is Wrong Day. Or for those of you with kids, this day could really be celebrated every day because they certainly know better than you all the time, don’t they? Again, no information about the creator or date of creation is readily available, but we’d be willing to bet it was developed by a harried parent who finally realized it was better to just make the best of their situation rather than fight it! I Forgot Day And now, for a holiday you can look forward to in the next few weeks, we bring you July 2 as I Forgot Day. Just don’t forget to celebrate it. Anyway, the supposed creator of the holiday is Gaye Anderson of DeMotte, Indiana, although it isn’t clear when she came up with the idea . . . probably as soon as she remembered she wanted to! The idea is to commemorate all the times when you’ve forgotten something or someone and use this day to make up for it. However, since it isn’t widely celebrated, it’s likely that more people will forget about I Forgot Day. Yellow Pig Day This one is a bit strange as well, but July 17 represents Yellow Pig Day. The holiday was created by Michael Spivak and David C. Kelly in the 1960s. The story goes that the guys were studying mathematics at Princeton University and (probably during a late-night study session) they began listing the interesting properties of the number 17. Apparently, someone decided that, if there was ever to be a yellow pig, it would likely have 17 toes, 17 teeth, 17 eyelashes . . . you get the picture. And thus, a super random holiday was born! You better bet Snippetz will be celebrating Yellow Pig Day this year! Issue 817
SNIPPETZ SINGS ABOUT OUR FAVORITE MUSICALS THAT BECAME MOVIES by Lindsey Harrison “I have found my heaven in musicals. When I watch a musical, it makes me believe life is still beautiful.” – John Woo, Chinese director For some people, musicals are just plain silly. Everyone gets together and dances around whatever place they’re in, their timing is perfectly choreographed and somehow everyone knows all the words to all the songs. And that’s not even taking into consideration perhaps the most absurd part: literally everyone in a musical can sing. Now, if musicals were based on real life, someone would be sadly off-pitch, another person would be standing on the side wondering why he or she didn’t get the memo about the dance moves, and the fact that strangers wander up and join in the show would freak at least one person out. But that’s the great thing about musicals, isn’t it? They aren’t realistic. Like, at all. They are, however, the perfect diversion from all the real life we have to deal with every day. And we at Snippetz know how important it is to have a little “escapism” every once in a while. Why else would we make such an awesome magazine like this, filled to the brim with tons of fun, entertaining and informational . . . information? With that in mind, why don’t you join us as we take a tour of OUR five favorite musicals that became movies, in no particular order, of course! MY FAIR LADY Based on the play “Pygmalion” by George Bernard Shaw, “My Fair Lady” takes place in London during the Edwardian period, roughly the early 1900s. Eliza Doolittle – the female lead played by Julie Andrews in the Broadway production and Audrey Hepburn in the film version – is a poor, yet beautiful, Londoner with a strong Cockney accent, working as a flower seller. She overhears a rich, somewhat snobby man named Henry Higgins, who claims he can take someone as lowly as Eliza and turn her into a lady fit for proper London society. Henry, a professor of phonetics, plans to help teach her how to speak “proper” English and makes a bet that he could pass her off as a duchess at an embassy ball. Eliza endures several forms of speech training before pulling off the perfect upper-class English accent and Henry presents her in proper society with much success. However, the pair has a falling out and Eliza leaves, while Henry is left to consider what he may have done wrong. As you may have guessed, the pair ends up working things out in the end when Henry realizes that he has “grown accustomed to her face,” and Eliza returns to him, Cockney accent and all. The storyline for “My Fair Lady” is rooted in Greek mythology, mirroring the misadventures of a mythical artist named Pygmalion who sculpted the ideal woman but fell in love with the statue. Rex Harrison, who played Henry Higgins, didn’t really sing much during his parts; he basically talked to the beat while loosely following the melody. On the other hand, Julie Andrews sang all her parts on stage and Audrey Hepburn, whose voice was deemed unsuitable, lip synced her parts which were dubbed by Marni Nixon. “My Fair Lady” was very nearly called “Liza,” “Lady Liza,” and “Fanfaroon.” FIDDLER ON THE ROOF Another musical set in the early 1900s, “Fiddler on the Roof” depicts a Jewish man named Tevye who is raising five daughters in the Pale of Settlement of Imperial Russia. He tries to maintain his deep-rooted religious beliefs and cultural traditions, but outside influences threaten to topple everything he has built. His three oldest daughters want to marry for love, which would ultimately result in the family being pulled apart. Incidentally, the name “Fiddler on the Roof” refers to the image that the family’s lives are as precarious as the perch of a fiddler on a roof. As you can imagine, five daughters bring Tevye plenty of stress, heartache and worry. They are all strong-willed in their own ways and Tevye’s pain is only heightened by the news that one daughter has eloped outside of their Jewish faith and the Russian empire is forcing his family from their village, the only place they’ve ever known. The production ends with Tevye, his wife, and their two youngest daughters making their way to America. Sholem Rabinovich, better known as Sholem Aleichem, wrote the “Fiddler on the Roof” and was introduced to Samuel Clemens, better known as Mark Twain as Twain’s Jewish counterpart. Bea Arthur of “The Golden Girls” was cast as the original Yente the matchmaker. “Fiddler on the Roof” was the first Broadway musical to surpass 3,000 performances. CHICAGO Written by Maurine Dallas Watkins, a crime reporter in 1926, the play “Chicago” is based on the true lives and crimes of two women who were each suspected of murder in 1924. Beulah Annan and Belva Gaertner inspired the characters Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly, respectively. Essentially, both characters are locked away for murder and while behind bars, they both seek out the fame they so desperately want while awaiting their separate trials. They fight over an attorney who they feel will help them get acquitted and try to one-up each other to maintain the limelight. Although “Chicago” received mixed reviews, several revivals of the Broadway play have been developed, leading to “Chicago” holding the record as the longest-running musical revival and longest-running American musical in Broadway history. Although based on a dark and sinister premise, the play and the movie both manage to shine an interesting light on the American judicial system and tell a snarky story about fame in our society. The “Chicago” revival play has performed in 24 countries and 12 languages. “Achy-Breaky Heart” singer Billy Ray Cyrus is the 41st actor to play the role of Billy Flynn, the sought-after attorney, on Broadway. Other stars to play in “Chicago” on Broadway include Huey Lewis, Usher, Ashlee Simpson and Michelle Williams. SWEENEY TODD Yes, we have included the Demon Barber of Fleet Street on our list of favorite musicals. Why? Because this author happens to like the dark, sinister things in life and having a musical that depicts that so perfectly is too good to ignore. The play tells the story of a serial killer barber, Sweeney Todd, who murders his victims with a straight razor and then makes them into meat pies in London in the mid-1800s. He doesn’t do this just for fun, though. Sweeney is actually on the hunt for the man who has taken his daughter, Johanna, as his ward after falsely convicting and imprisoning Sweeney 15 years earlier. Yes, it’s a bit macabre, but such is life, right? Although strongly disputed, Sweeney Todd has been rumored to be a real historical person. The Sweeney Todd character first appeared in literature in 1846 as part of “The String of Pearls” series. References to Sweeney Todd have appeared in a multitude of places over the years, including the 1967 Avengers episode, “Escape in Time” where the barber’s nameplate shows “T. Sweeney.” MAMMA MIA! Alright, this one is less dark and dreary than the last two but no less engaging. Based on songs from the band ABBA, “Mamma Mia!” is the story of a young girl, Sophie, who plans to get married and desperately wants her father to walk her down the aisle. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know who her father is. In reading her mother’s diary, Sophie believes him to be one of three men mentioned and sends each an invitation to the wedding, behind her mother’s back, of course. All three men arrive and the mother, Donna, finds herself in quite a pickle with all three of her former boyfriends together in the same place at once. As the perfect end to a silly story, Sophie decides she isn’t ready to get married; Donna marries one of her former boyfriends and everyone basically lives happily ever after . . . all set to ABBA songs. What could be better? “Mamma Mia!” has premiered in more than 400 major cities across the globe. More than 400 yards of Lycra material were needed for just one portion of the play. “Mamma Mia!” is one of the only hit musicals to be produced, book-written and directed by an all-female team. Issue 818
SNIPPETZ REVIEWS MOVIES THAT CELEBRATE THE FOURTH OF JULY by Lindsey Harrison “It is my living sentiment, and by the blessing of God it shall be my dying sentiment, independence now and independence forever.” – Daniel Webster, American statesman For many of us, the Fourth of July holiday brings a variety of things to mind: the middle of summer vacation; fireworks; hotdogs and hamburgers; picnics; friends and family; and obviously, the day our country officially broke away from England and declared its independence. A decision like that, which literally changed the course of history, will always hold a certain appeal for history buffs. But the entertainment industry certainly isn’t going to miss out on the opportunity to capitalize on such a monumental event, either. It would be easy to be cynical about that fact, but to be honest, some really great movies have been created around the idea of the Fourth of July. Sometimes they celebrate the history of the event and act as a reminder of what was sacrificed in order for our country to be free and other times, they remind us of how awesome it is that we are, in fact, free. Either way, they’re fun to watch and just might be worth a private showing in the living room of your choice this Independence Day. So, in case you need some guidance on where to start, here is Snippetz’s review of some of our favorite movies that celebrate the Fourth of July, in no particular order, of course! INDEPENDENCE DAY For the younger generations, the movie “Independence Day” is probably one of the first films that comes to mind when asked about movies that celebrate the Fourth of July. Certainly, we all know that there are no picnics next to a lake with fireworks and happy families. Similarly, there are no revolutionary-type wars with each side marching in straight lines and shooting at each other. But what makes “Independence Day” worthy of being on Snippetz’s list of favorite Fourth of July films has just as much to do with independence as even the most historically-accurate film about that incredibly important day in 1776. For those of you who haven’t seen the film, here’s the basic premise: on the Fourth of July, aliens decide to attempt to take over Earth by destroying various powerful cities across the globe. But what kind of movie would this be if humans just rolled over and let the aliens win? A bad one, that’s what kind. And thankfully, that’s not what happens. In fact, the military powers around the world end up working together to defeat the aliens, with the help of Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum who take one of the aliens’ spaceships and head into outer space to effectively kill the mothership. Not only does the name “Independence Day” refer to the day on which the aliens attacked, but it also foretells the eventual “independence” the humans secured by defeating their would-be captors. 1776 With a name like “1776,” it would be hard to ignore this musical drama on a list of Fourth of July movies. The film follows the trials and tribulations behind the actual drafting of the Declaration of Independence and the obstacles that were eventually overcome to make that happen. If you have ever wondered if there was a time when Congress moved quickly, smoothly and efficiently in order to achieve something hugely important, like deciding to fight back against England to gain independence, the answer is no. Just as we see today, the Continental Congress of those early days in our nation’s history (and actually before it was its own nation) struggled to reach a conclusion to one burning question: yay or nay to breaking away from England. The truly interesting part of this film is not that it depicts the difficulty these men faced when trying to determine the fate of their people, although that is certainly a side many of us may not have considered. Truly, their actions could be considered treason. But aside from that, the fact that some of the dialogue and song lyrics in the film were taken directly from letters and memoirs of the people who actually participated in the decision-making process is pretty darn awesome. What better way to understand how they felt than to use their own words? JAWS Alright, some of you may be wondering why we chose this film to include on our list. While the plot of “Jaws” doesn’t exactly celebrate the Fourth of July, a critical part of the film takes place on that holiday. Essentially, the movie depicts a blood-thirsty shark patrolling the beaches of Amity Island in the days surrounding the Fourth of July holiday. The shark is a man-eater, quite literally, and once word gets out, attempts are made to protect the revelers as they flock to the beaches of the island to celebrate Independence Day. But with a 25-foot great white shark on the prowl, only so much can be done. Ultimately the sharks claims a few more lives before being killed by the explosion of a pressurized scuba tank that one of the lead characters manages to stuff into its mouth and shoot with a rifle. So, why in the world did we pick this film? As with “Independence Day,” this movie’s theme is what allows for its inclusion on this list. Any time we – as a species, culture, society, whatever it may be – can declare a victory over another force that is seeking to overpower or even obliterate us, it’s noteworthy. And when you consider that in every case, the bottom line is securing independence from whatever that threat or outside force may be, it’s easy to understand why we’ve chosen some less obvious movies. Plus, everyone knows the “dun-dun . . . dun-dun . . . dun-dun” sound effect that accompanies the shark prior to its attacks and that’s just all around super cool. JOHN ADAMS OK, so this isn’t technically a film. It’s actually a mini-series that was aired on HBO in 2008 but its correlation to the Fourth of July is a bit more obvious. The first episode opens on John Adams (played by Paul Giamatti) arriving on the scene of the Boston Massacre in 1770. Naturally, the events both preceding and following that bloody winter night were integral in the final decision to declare independence from England. As the series progresses, we see Adams get elected to the First Continental Congress and the struggles the members of the subsequent Second Continental Congress faced as they tried to decide which direction they felt the country needed to take. As with “1776,” this mini-series highlights the gravity of the decision to break away from England but then follows Adams in the later years as the Declaration of Independence takes effect. Certainly, our history as a country has been sketchy and trying. But movies (or a mini-series) like the ones we’ve chosen here depict two sides of the coin: the importance of the decision to become our own nation and how difficult it was for the men involved who ultimately had to make that decision; and the obvious freedoms we have enjoyed thanks to that decision. Those freedoms may seem like a given, but as we can see in these films, nothing is guaranteed and we must continually fight as a nation to remain free! Maybe not necessarily from aliens, but who knows? Never say never! Issue 819
SNIPPETZ SAYS "IF YOU LOVE PIÑA COLADAS..." YOU'LL LOVE THIS OTHER FROZEN FAVORITE by Lindsey Harrison 
“In the hot summer months, popsicles are a perfect way to cool down while enjoying a delicious, fruit treat. Frozen, refreshing, mouth-friendly candy on a stick cannot get any better . . . or can it?”
– Marcus Samuelsson, Ethiopian chef The dog days of summer have hit and we’re all looking for a way to cool down. As much as we agree that popsicles are an awesome option to beat the heat, they’re not always practical. Like, when you’re trying to write an article for work . . . ‘cause you kinda need both hands for that. Or what about when you’re headed to a super important meeting for work? How awful would it be to spill popsicle drippings all over your fancy new blouse? That’s why we agree with Mr. Samuelsson, but not completely. Frozen treats, more specifically frozen drinks, are the best way to cool down and enjoy a tasty treat at the same time. And because we’re a family-friendly magazine, we’ve focused on the non-alcoholic drinks so you can safely run out right after you read this and buy your favorite one! Or better yet, just take this Snippetz issue with you and show off to all your friends. Whichever way you choose, here’s what you need to know about our two favorite frozen drinks, in no particular order, of course! PIÑA COLADAS You knew this one was coming, right? How could we ignore it? Anyway, these fruitastic drinks are traditionally made with rum but non-alcoholic versions are just as easy to make and probably even more refreshing. So, who do we have to thank for creating the piña colada? That’s the tricky part. We know the recipe originated in Puerto Rico but there is some debate as to who was the mastermind behind it. Some say it was a bartender named Ramon “Monchito” Marrero in 1954, while he worked at the Beachcombers Bar in the Caribe Hilton in San Juan. That theory claims that Marrero spent about three months trying to come up with the perfect combination of island flavors to please the patrons of his establishment. He finally settled on a blend of rum, cream of coconut and pineapple juice, which was apparently so tasty that Joan Crawford (yes, that Joan Crawford) took one sip and said it was “better than slapping Bette Davis in the face.” But that’s just one version of the story. Another claims that the owner and chef of the Restaurant Barrachina, located about two miles west of the Caribe Hotel, persuaded a famous mixologist (that’s just a fancy term for bartender) named Ramon Portas Mingot to leave Argentina and come work at his eatery instead. The owner, Pepe Barrachina, was so confident that his new bartender had created a new drink that he had a marble plaque placed outside the entrance to the restaurant that claims Mingot created the piña colada at that location in 1963. Still another story claims that the 18th-century Puerto Rican pirate Roberto Confresi used rum, pineapple juice and coconut milk to lift the spirits of his crew when they were feeling a bit down. Regardless of who actually came up with the tasty drink, it’s safe to say that the piña colada isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. In fact, it was declared Puerto Rico’s national drink in 1978. But since not everyone enjoys the alcoholic version, you can simply omit the rum and you’ve got yourself a perfect frozen drink to take the edge off the summer heat. SLURPEE Although you might assume that a drink like the Slurpee must have been an intentional invention, designed by an individual who was hot and thirsty, and craved something sweet to put a damper on the unbearable heat of a mid-summer’s day. But as you may recall from a few Snippetz issues back, some of the best things in the history of everything have been discovered by accident. And the Slurpee happens to be one of them! Here’s what happened: back in the late 1950s, the owner of a Dairy Queen in Kansas City, named Omar Knedlik, found himself constantly struggling with a soda fountain that liked to break down. Not wanting to lose out on any profits, Knedlik filled a few bottles with soda and stashed them in his freezer to keep them cool. Not realizing that his drinks might get a bit colder than usual, Knedlik was surprised to find that they were a bit slushy when he took them out of the freezer, but he sold them anyway. Turns out, that was a pretty good plan because soon, people began asking specifically for the ones that had been in the cooler a bit longer, meaning they wanted the slushy sodas. Luckily, Knedlik was not a stupid man because he realized that he had stumbled upon something truly innovative in the world of soft drinks and decided he needed a better way to make this new drink. He built a machine in the back room of his Dairy Queen, using parts from a car’s air conditioning system that froze a combination of flavor mix, water and carbon dioxide (which added the fizz). So, where in the world did the name “Slurpee” come from? Well, the original drink that Knedlik invented was called an ICEE, after he held a product naming contest. In fact, that was the name given to the machine that Knedlik put into production with the help of a manufacturing company in Dallas and an engineer who ironed out the wrinkles in the design. “But wait, Snippetz,” you’re probably saying. “We thought you said this was about the Slurpee, not the ICEE.” Well, as you can probably imagine, once word got out that a new drink craze had come onto the scene, other companies perked up and decided to try their hand at making a similar drink. In 1965, the 7-Eleven chain of convenience stores created and licensed their own machine specifically for use in 7-Eleven stores, and named it the Slurpee machine. Bob Stanford, a 7-Eleven ad agency director, knew the drink needed a catchy name and felt that “Slurpee” fit because it was the noise that was made when someone sipped the drink through a straw. Although it may seem strange, the Slurpee Capital of the World is not someplace hot, like Dallas or even Atlanta. Nope, it’s actually Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. At least, that’s been the case every year since 1999. But who knows? Maybe Monument has the chance to become the new Slurpee Capital! The Slurpee comes in a wide variety of flavors, which researchers have determined are mixed together by about 37 percent of Slurpee drinkers on a consistent basis. About 41 percent say they never mix their flavors, while about 21 percent say they do once in a while. One key factor in determining a new flavor is finding a pleasing, complementary color to go with it. After all, no one wants to drink a brown banana-flavored Slurpee. To do this, scientists routinely test various flavor combinations, colors and consistencies to see what holds up when cooled to the standard 28-degree temperature, which can take weeks and sometimes months to get just right. Interestingly enough, one of the most popular flavors is piña colada! So, does that mean you’re drinking a piña colada or a Slurpee? Maybe it just means you get the enjoy the best of both worlds at the same time and we should all just stop questioning everything. Geez. Either way, drink up! |
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